Dirty Mistresses
by QueensDoItBetter
Summary: When Mark Sloan first arrives at Seattle Grace, he runs into a young heartbroken intern. He captivates her from the start and when a punch from Derek comes, it only cements their future. Meredith and Mark begin a relationship that starts with spite and comfort but quickly transitions into something more. MerMark romance
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

Don't get me wrong, I like MerDer and I will probably always ship it. But the way Mark flirts with Meredith in Season 2 Episode 18 "Yesterday" is just so good. So here's my first attempt ate a Mermark story. I start with what is given to us in "Yesterday" but quickly diverge off that path! This is a short chapter but I am just getting started. Hopefully longer ones are on there way!

I am always open to suggestions so please review! Enjoy!

(I don't own Grey's Anatomy, I'm borrowing characters and a few ideas. Italics are taken from the show.)

* * *

She stood looking over her patient's charts, her thoughts focused on the fact that COPD was going to make the case a bit more challenging.

" _Invasive non-small cell with a history of COPD? The guy's pretty much a goner, huh?_ " came a male voice. She turned slightly to her left, looking up to see the handsome face that matched the voice. She smiled as she processed him.

" _Sensitivity. I like that in a stranger. Are you new here?_ " she questioned. He had to be a medical professional, the way he read the chart so quickly and knew how COPD would be an added difficulty.

" _Visiting. Confounded by all the rain and it's only my first day in town._ " He grinned. She took the chart and walked down the counter a little ways. She had to continue her work before she got behind. The last thing she needed right now was to anger her superiors. Staying on top of her workload was also a distraction. A distraction from begging Derek to choose her.

" _You get used to it"_ she said simply, with a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders. He followed her down the counter circling to her other side, a flirtatious grin across his face.

" _It makes me want to stay in bed all day."_ He mention, ambiguously. She looked at him, taken back by the underlying meaning. Her heart rate increased at the thought of being with him and not Derek. And she was almost okay with the idea.

" _We just met and already you're talking about bed. Not very subtle"_ She countered, liking the straightforward approach,

" _Subtle has never been my strong suit"_ He said. " _So, do you ever go out with co-workers?"_

She felt her insides twist, a little adrenaline pushing through her body. The last time she went out with a co-worker, he broke her heart. It was better that she not repeat that move. She paused, smiling before answering.

" _I um make it a rule not to"_ She said, fighting over the part of her that desperately wanted to go out with him, to see what other fish were in the sea.

He just smirked. " _Then I am so glad that I don't work here"._

Her heart sped up again. This could go so many ways now. He is not her coworker so she could go out once and never see him again. Or she could actually consider going out more than once and it would never get messy at her workplace again. " _Are you hitting on me? In a hospital?"_

" _Would that be wrong?"_ He asked with a feigned innocence. She could only smile and shake her head. This could be something she like. He could be someone she liked. And she wouldn't have to worry about working with his wife everyday, if he had one. Hopefully not, she thought. It was time to give it a shot.

" _Meredith"_ she introduced offering her hand with a set smile. He grasped it with confidence and strength. But before he could say anything else, or introduce himself, Derek punched him. The man went down, hurriedly placing a hand over his injured face. Derek shook out his hand, a jealous and angry look in his eyes. " _What the hell was that?"_ Meredith asked, snapping out of her flirtatious fog. Since when did Derek, the man who lied to her about his wife, Addison, and then chose his wife over Meredith, get jealous of a single interaction with a stranger?

" _That was Mark"_ Derek grimaced, his hand still in pain. Mark? As in the man who slept with Addison? What were the odds that of all the hot men to hit on Meredith it had to be Mark Sloan? She looked at the man still sitting on the floor, shocked. She then looked at Derek and shook her head.

"Why did you do that?" Meredith demanded.

"Why did I-? He was asking you out!" Derek replied, exasperated. This infuriated Meredith. Derek made a point of choosing Addison but when it came down to Mark, his only concern was Meredith. While she was overjoyed at the prospects of his care, she also found it increasingly more annoying that he was acting in whichever way suited him. Addison shows up? It benefited him to be with her. Meredith asks him to chose her? Still beneficial to be with his estranged wife. Mark flirts with Meredith? Suddenly it is a priority to protect Meredith, while Addison was just a few feet away from them.

"And why would you care, Dr. Shepherd? We aren't dating anymore, you're happily married. So why do you have to care?" Meredith asked, crossing her arms. Derek looked her in the eyes.

"You were going to go out with him, weren't you?" Derek accused. "He's a serial dater, Mer-"

"It's Dr. Grey" Meredith snapped, her anger rising. He was giving too many mixed signals. "Be a professional adult, Dr. Shepherd. Excuse me while I help this man." She turned and rushed over to Mark who had since stood and was leaning against the counter. He grinned at her.

"Feisty. I like that in a stranger" he turned her words against her. She just shook her head and began leading him to an exam room.

"Let's go get you fixed up, I will take excellent care of you" Meredith put her arm around him, making an effort to avoid Derek's eyes.

"I am sure you will, Dr. Grey" Mark replied, adding emphasis on the doctor.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**

I was so excited to see the reviews! It totally made my day. There is still a little original Grey's Anatomy dialogue, which is again in italics. Hopefully you enjoy!

* * *

Meredith grabbed the suture kit and slipped her hands into the latex gloves. Mark was seated on the examine table patiently watching he work, taking in her confident moves. They had said little to each other as they walked to the room, both of them still processing what was going on and the realization of who they were. Turning to Mark, Meredith began to clean the cut. She was about to say something when Mark finally broke the heavy silence. " _Derek and I always did have the same taste in women"_ he commented.

" _Excuse me?"_ Meredith asked, wishing for his explanation. Maybe he was truly interested in her.

" _You're Derek's lusty intern, right?"_ He questioned. " _I heard about you all the way in New York. You're famous."_ Meredith laughed at the thought of her name being passed through the gossips in New York. She knew Seattle Grace was bad about gossiping but the idea that other hospitals did the same was laughable. She let out a gentle laugh.

" _Well I heard about you all the way here in Seattle so I guess we have a lot in common."_ She began with a smile.

" _We're the dirty mistresses"_ Mark declared with a slight grin. Meredith suppressed a loud laugh. It was hard to believe that they both committed the same sin with the same couple and were in the same room. She liked the name for them. It seemed fitting especially since she still felt a little guilty for sleeping with another woman's husband. And it was very suggestive.

" _I suppose we are"_ she confirmed, turning to prepare for his stitches.

" _My 400 dollar an hour shrink says that behind this rugged and confident exterior, I'm self destructive and self loathing to an almost pathological degree"_ Mark confessed, emphasizing the rugged and confident parts. That was familiar territory for Meredith. With a mother who didn't know how to love her and a father who left her, Meredith was on a first name basis with self-destruction and loathing.

" _Hey, we do have a lot in common"_ She agreed. He tried to look at her but she placed her hand on his chin and forced him to look straight ahead as she continued to prepare the cut on his face for stitches.

" _You know it's funny,"_ Mark began. " _Derek walks in on me naked with his wife, actually in the throws, and he just turns around and walks away."_ He turned to look at Meredith, his eyes scanning over her rounded cheeks and pink lips. " _But he sees me so much as talking to you and I'm on the ground bleeding. Interesting, don't you think?"_ To Meredith it was very interesting. She had thought the same thing but now she was worried about his thoughts. Was he concerned that Derek was going to steal Meredith away from him? That she was Derek's to take? Deep down Meredith knew that wasn't true. She only belonged to herself. But there was still a piece of her broken heart that wanted Derek to drop everything and sweep her off her feet. Meredith turned and grabbed the suturing tools. She placed the sterile towel on his shoulder, her hand resting a moment on it before grabbing the needle. " _What do you think you're doing?"_ Mark asked.

" _You need stitches."_

" _I know. Hold the mirror,"_ he commanded, taking the tools from her hand. With a fascinated smile, Meredith held the mirror in front of his face. Mark then proceeded to stitch his own face with beautiful technique. He was so focused on the mirror that Meredith took the time to openly admire his face. His green blue eyes, his slightly rounded nose, the carefully groomed facial hair that perfectly framed his face. His deep, dark hair that was intertwined with silver and grey. "Dr. Grey?" he called. She shook her head, bringing her focus to his words.  
"Yes?" She breathed, still captivated by his defined looks.

"Could you focus on holding the mirror? If you're going to stare, I would much rather there not be a scar there to distract you" He winked. Meredith blushed as she was caught in the act of admiration. She nodded her head and held the mirror up to eye level. He was so different than Derek. He was tall, defined, precise, clean. Mark had a casual flirt and a smoldering charisma to him. And he was suturing his own face right there with just a hand mirror. Derek had his talents, his charisma and his flirting but they were more messy, smiley and joyful. There was little darkness in his sky. And like Meredith, Mark had grey clouds following him. "There. All done" he set down the needle, reaching for the bandage and applying it with grace and comfort.

"That was amazing" Meredith said gently, lowering the mirror. "You must be one hell of a surgeon."

"I am one hell of a lot of things, Dr. Grey. Perhaps I can take you out tonight to show you" Mark offered with a seductive grin. "I heard of a great little hole in the wall bar that serves amazing drinks."

"I don't know, Mark" Meredith took off her gloves. She wasn't sure she wanted to get invested in another man. And she surely wasn't wanting any more drama and mess in her life.

"Dr. Grey-" Mark began.

"It's Meredith" She corrected with a small smile.

"Meredith" Mark grinned and she loved the way he said her name. "You said you don't go out with coworkers, and since I am not your coworker perhaps you will reconsider." He stood up, looking down to meet her eyes. "Just one date?"

"Ok, one date" Meredith agreed with a slight sigh. "I am done with work at 7."

"Perfect. I will pick you up at the front doors at 7." He winked and then walked out of the room leaving Meredith to clean up and finally breathe.

She was just finishing the clean up when Cristina burst in the room. "What was that?" Cristina demanded.

"What was what?" Meredith shrugged.

"McSexy suturing himself up. Can you imagine be that flawless that you would take stitch your own face?" Cristina exclaimed "why did he come to the hospital if he could do it himself?"

"Oh so you didn't hear?" Meredith questioned.

"Hear what?"

"That was Mark Sloan. Derek saw him talking with me and punched him" Meredith explained.

"Mark Sloan? As in the legendary plastic surgeon?" Cristina was shocked. Meredith laughed at her friend's reaction and she nodded yes. "Ah, he's amazing, Mer. I can't believe you got to touch him. He's almost a god!"

"Yeah well I am also getting a drink with him later" Meredith stated before walking out the room to the nurses station.

"You are drinking with him?" Cristina followed in disbelief. George looked up from the desk.

"Who's drinking with who?" George asked.

"Meredith is getting a drink with Mark Sloan" Cristina said. Meredith picked up a patient chart and began to absently skim it. She was enjoying all the attention she was getting for this.

"Mark Sloan?" Alex questioned as he walked up. "What about him?"

"Apparently, Meredith is going out with him" George mumbled.

"It's just for one drink, okay?" Meredith said. "There is no need to make such a big deal about it." She turned her focus to her chart, trying harder to focus on the patient history.

"You're blushing," Alex pointed out. "It is a big deal for you. Planning on sleeping your way to the top like Yang?"

"You're just jealous Burke likes me and not you" Cristina threw back at him. There was a brief silence before George broke it, nervously looking at Meredith.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to sleep, I mean go out with him? Look what happened with Derek" George argued. Meredith looked at him with a raised eyebrow. First, Mark was not her coworker and as far as she had heard he had no wife crying for him back in New York. He was a heartbreaker and after this last heart break, Meredith had nothing left to lose.

"It's one drink," she said again. "That's all. It won't turn out like McDreamy, McSteamy is different."

"McSteamy?" Cristina asked.

"McSexy just isn't right" Meredith laughed as she picked up the chart and left her friends behind. She had to get through her day efficiently as she would hate to be late for her date. Afterall, it was just one drink. How terrible could it go?

Meredith had just finished her last rounds for the evening. The charts were in order, her patients stable and all her tasks finished correctly. She changed quickly out of her tired blue scrubs into jeans and sweater. Looking in the mirror, she shrugged. It wasn't what she would have chosen for a first date but it would have to do. At least her hair fell nicely around her shoulders and she didn't look too exhausted.

Meredith stood waiting for an elevator when Addison walked up. She gave Addison a polite and civil smile before looking back to the elevator doors. They stood in a heavy silence until the elevator opened, spilling doctors and nurses out of it. The two women got on the elevator pressing the button for the main floor. "Heading home for the evening, I see" Addison observed.

"Actually I am grabbing a drink first" Meredith answered.

"Alone or with someone?" Addison asked in her awkward pushy way. Meredith blushed a little, her nerves rising.

"With someone" she took a deep breath. She hated how these elevator rides seemed to take forever.

"That's good" Addison smiled. "I am glad you are going out."

"Yeah, its um good to be getting away from the hospital" Meredith stumbled, unsure of how many details she wanted to share with Addison. After all, she had slept with Addison's husband and now going out with her ex-lover. Talk about complicated.  
Finally the elevator dinged and the doors open. Meredith headed to the front doors, thinking she spied Mark standing outside. To her surprise, Addison also made her way to entrance. Then she saw him. Derek waiting inside for Addison. They made eye contact and Meredith forced herself to look away from his captivating blue eyes. She increased her pace, hoping to get out there before Derek saw Mark. "Goodnight, Meredith. Have fun tonight" Addison called as Meredith passed them.

"Thanks, Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd" Meredith mumbled flinging the doors open. She swore she could feel Derek's eyes burning into her back. Outside, she quickly made it over to Mark who greeted her with his breath catching smile. "Hi, let's get going."

"Are you in a rush to get this over with? Perhaps rushing to get to the part where I ask to take you to my hotel room, you agree, we can't keep our hands off each other and by the time we make it to the room are clothes are already on their way off" Mark grinned.

"Yeah sure whatever. Let's just get going" Meredith looked back to see Addison and Derek, arm in arm, walking out of the hospital. "Crap" she muttered under her breath.

"Mark?" Derek asked, his shoulder tensing. "What are you doing here?"

"Don't worry, Derek, I am just leaving" Mark narrowed his eyes, offering his arm to Meredith. She took it and he led her away from the hospital. When they were far enough away from Derek and Addison, Mark relaxed a little. "So that's why you were in a hurry" he commented. Meredith nodded. "I still have to charm you over a drink then."

"Of course. Now where are we going?" Meredith inquired.

"A little bar called Emerald City" Mark announced proudly. "It's right across the street."

"Joe's? We are going to Joe's?" Meredith laughed. "We are always at Joe's"

"And here I thought I was suprising you" Mark sounded a little disappointed. Meredith in turn hugged his arm a little tighter.

"You already have" she assured him quietly.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**

I had troubles getting the momentum going on this chapter. I was all fired up the past two chapters but with this one had some troubles. So I apologize if it seems choppy or jumps through dialogue and such. Feel free to give suggestions or if you have any comments :)

* * *

"So this is where all the doctors hang out?" Mark asked, taking in the bar in front of him. He led Meredith to an empty table towards the back corner.

"It's close and Joe is great," Meredith answered. "If we get lucky we might see other doctors or nurses," she joked.

"What can I get you to drink?" Mark asked.

"A tequila sour, please."

"Coming right up" He winked and walked to the bar. Meredith surveyed the bar, looking to see if she knew anyone. There was the usual regulars, a few new faces and some nurses. But at the bar she spotted Izzie, Alex and George. Poor George looked like he had a rough day, and it didn't seem to help that Alex was poking fun of him. Meredith watched how George's demeanor changed when Mark came to the bar. George mumbled something to Alex causing them both to turn about and look at Mark. From where she was sitting, she couldn't hear what they were saying but they obviously were saying something to Mark. He gave them his usual smile and chatted with them. Meredith could only imagine what they were saying, and she only hoped that they weren't embarrassing her or talking about Derek. Finally Joe gave Mark the drinks and he began to make his way back to Meredith. She watched as all three of her friends turned to look at her. She gave a little smile and wave before turning her attention back to Mark. "Your friends over there are really something" he said, sitting down.

"Oh no, what did they say?" Meredith was concerned.

"Alex babbled on about his interest in plastics. Izzie was checking me out and George attempted to explain to me that you didn't need your heart broken again" Mark laughed.

"Oh George" Meredith shook her head. "He is just trying to look out for me."

"Enough about them, tell me more about you" Mark grinned. "Who is the lusty intern who stole Derek's heart?"

"She was a foolish girl in a bar" Meredith said. She really didn't want to talk about Derek tonight. "And who is the dirty mistress who drove Derek to Seattle?"

"A man who thought Addison was the woman for him" Mark answered. "But he was terribly disappointed."

Their evening continued full of laughter, smiles and a lot of flirtation. It was about twenty minutes when Meredith felt Mark gently nudge her foot under the table. Without breaking eye contact she nudged him back and they continued their conversation all the while gently touching feet. Eventually their hands had met over the table and Mark was drawing lazy circles across the back of Meredith's hand. Izzie and Alex had left over an hour ago, both of them staring as they walked out. Meredith noticed George still sitting at the bar, a beer in hand, watching her. "Do I have to worry about you and George?" Mark asked, pulling Meredith's attention back to him. Meredith just shook her head.

"No," Meredith stood up. "I will be right back."

"Don't be gone too long" Mark winked. "The night is still young." Meredith walked over and sat next to George.

"Why do you keep staring, George?" She asked.

"I don't think he's right for you, Mer" George answered.

"You don't think anyone is right for me" Meredith laughed. "But it's just one date."

"Just one date after McDreamy broke your heart. And he's someone who just swooped in. Maybe you need a guy who has always been there for you and who knows you."

"George, I'm fine. Really I am. It's you who is not fine," Meredith put her hand on his shoulder. "Go home George, get some sleep. We both know that work had been crazy lately so go home and sleep before you get paged"

"But Mer…"

"George, go home. I will be home soon too," Meredith stood up and pushed him gently to the door. "I'm okay George." He reluctantly got up and slowly made his way to the door. He gave her one last look where she nodded and he finally opened the door, leaving Meredith with Mark. She went back to her table where Mark was waiting patiently, a small smile dancing on his lips.

"Are you sure there is nothing between you two?" Mark teased. "He seems awfully concerned about you." Meredith laughed.

"No, Mark, there is nothing but friendship between me and George" Meredith reassured.

"Good," Mark said standing and moving closer to Meredith. "Because I don't want an involved woman again."

"Well," Meredith placed her hands on his chest, looking up at him with her blue green eyes. "I am a free woman right now. So have no worries."

"Let's get out of here" Mark moved his hands to her waist, pulling her closer. "My hotel isn't too far from here. I can have champagne waiting for us." Meredith stepped back. She was wanting to go spend the rest of the night with him but memories of her last time going home with a guy were invading her mind. The way Derek looked at her with his dreamy eyes and held her close, his hands through her hair as he kissed her with pressure. And how she let him take her home and sleep in the living room together, tangled in each other's arms and sheets. How she felt on fire when they talked at the hospital in the stairwell, and kissed in the elevator all those times. The heartbreak when Addison walked in that night, when he chose her over Meredith.

"I can't, Mark. I want to but I can't" Meredith whispered, looking away.

"Are you sure?" Mark asked.

"Yes, last time it didn't work out for me that well so…"

"Okay. Let me at least walk you back to the hospital to your car" Mark took her hand and they began their way to Seattle Grace. Meredith got lost in her thoughts the whole way back and was quiet. It was still baffling to Mark that Derek let Meredith go. She is absolutely gorgeous with her enchanting eyes. She was also incredibly intelligent and she was destined to be a great surgeon. She was witty and charming, able to hold a conversation, make fun of him and flirt all at the same time. Meredith was much more than Addison was. It was a feeling that Mark couldn't quite explain, just that Meredith was better for him than Addison was. And Mark had been so sure about Addison, so confident that she was his true love. It had bothered him after awhile that his best friend hadn't caught onto Addison's affair, that Derek didn't find out for months. Derek was blind to what he had. Mark had truly loved Addison and that's the reason he was here in Seattle, to find the love of his life. And it seems that Meredith was filling that spot in his heart more than anyone before.

"Thank you, Mark" Meredith said as they arrived to her car, sad that the night had to end but knowing that she had work early in the morning. Mark reached to her and gently pushed her chin up, leaning down and kissing her softly like they had years of practice. He pulled back, looking into soft eyes.

"Let's do it again sometime," he whispered. "Goodnight Meredith."

Meredith drove home with the kiss on her mind. She always thought a good kiss would be passionate with an upbeat tempo and one that left her gasping for air, fireworks excitedly going off in her head, the chemistry creating an unbearable heat.

But this changed her idea.

This was a good kiss. No, a perfect kiss. It held enough passion to be of lovers, the tenderness of a couple and the chemistry of love. It was like no kiss she had ever experienced before, not even with Derek. This kiss made her feel giddy and smiley, like a teenager in their first relationship. What made her more excited was the fact that he said they should do it again sometime. It meant that he was there for her as a person. She hoped it meant that he would be honest with her, and she wished that he might be her forever.

"How was your date with McSteamy?" Cristina asked as they got ready at their lockers.

"I bet it got steamy" Izzie giggled. Meredith rolled her eyes as she shrugged on her lab coat.

"It was great," Meredith smiled, hiding her face in her locker as she grabbed her stethoscope. "We had drinks at Joe's then he walked me back to the hospital to get my car." She was quiet as she finished grabbing her things and shutting her locker.

"That's it?" Izzie exclaimed. "No hot making out in the bathroom? No feeling each other up on the way home? No hot sex?!"

"Just a kiss goodnight" Meredith replied.

"He must really like the chase" Alex said as the interns left the locker room, making their way up to meet Dr. Bailey for morning rounds.

"Or he was letting her down easy" Cristina suggested. Meredith lightly smacked her arm.

"Hey!" She said. "He wants to see me again. I guarantee he asks me out again."

"It's about time you all showed up" Dr. Bailey grumbled as the interns arrived. "O'Malley, you're on Shepherd's service."

"Oh, not again" George muttered to Meredith. Poor, George. He hated working with Derek ever since he broke up with Meredith.

"Do you have a problem, O'Malley?" Bailey asked sharply.

"No ma'am" George shook his head.

"Good. Yang, you're with Burke. Stevens, Montgomery-Shepherd. Karev, you are with me" Bailey delegated. Everyone but Meredith started to leave, going to find their superiors and start rounds.

"Dr. Bailey," Meredith asked. "Whose service am I on?"

"The Chief requested to see you in his office this morning, and then the E.R."

"Yes, Dr. Bailey" Meredith made her way to the elevators, pressing the up button. The doors opened to allow other staff and visitors to pour out. Meredith stepped into the empty elevator, worried about why the Chief wanted her. She didn't get to think more about it because just as the doors were beginning to close, a hand stopped the door. It was the one person she absolutely did not want to see. Derek. He made eye contact with her as he stepped into the elevator, only breaking it to turn and press the button, but then he turned right back around to look at her. "Good morning, Dr. Shepherd" Meredith greeted him politely, hoping desperately that he would treat her kindly or at least professionally.

"You went out with Mark last night" he accused.

"Dr. Shepherd, that respectfully none of your business" Meredith crossed her arms, knowing he wasn't going to let it slide.

"I think it is my business. You were my girlfriend and he's my best friend" Derek said sharply.

"Ex-best friend. You said so yourself many times that he is no longer your best friend" Meredith countered.

"That doesn't matter, Meredith. He was still with you. And you know what he did to me."

"And I know what you did to me! You humiliated me, Derek! I begged you to chose me. I don't do that for guys but I did it for you because I thought you were the love of my life. I thought I had found my forever with you. And you pulled that all out from under me the night that Addison walked into this hospital and the day you chose to stay with her. I was here for you Derek and you left. You walked away, so now I get to move on with my life. I get to make my own choices, even if they mean going out with Mark" Meredith explained, exasperated that Derek didn't get it and thought that she was still his. "I can't believe you. I can see why Addison cheated on you" she knew it was a low thing to say but she was so frustrated she didn't care. And luckily for her the elevator doors opened, so she was able to push past Derek before he could reply.

Taking a deep breath, Meredith knocked on the door to the Chief's office before slowly pushing the door open. Chief Webber sat as his desk, and a lady from HR sat next to the desk. "Dr. Grey, come in and have a seat." Meredith's heart rate sped up, nerves filling her as she wondered what this was about.

"Hello, Chief" she smiled weakly.

"Dr. Grey, tell me about Mark Sloan."


	4. Chapter 4

Meredith sat frozen in her chair, her heart hammering in her chest. "Can...Can you be more specific, please?" she asked nervously. She knew the Chief wasn't always fond of her or her relationship with Derek.

"Yesterday my best neurosurgeon punched Mark Sloan in my hospital. You were there so tell me what happened" Chief Webber explained sternly.

"Dr. Sloan was talking to me, saying he was visiting someone," Meredith began, leaving out his flirtatious attitude. "All of a sudden, Dr. Shepherd appeared and punched him. I took Dr. Sloan for stitches and then sent him on his way."

"Sent him on his way and went out with him?" Richard asked.

"Sir, that really isn't your business. It was outside of work hours and shouldn't concern you" Meredith said defensively. She hated at that moment how her personal life was passed through the hospital grapevine.

"Actually it is, Dr. Grey. I am looking for a new ENT and Plastic Surgeon, and Mark Sloan is the best in the country. Before I consider hiring him, I need to be aware of personal relationships. Are you aware of his ties to Derek and Addison Shepherd?" Meredith nodded her head, overjoyed that Mark might be staying here longer than expected.

"Dr. Sloan is an excellent surgeon. I saw first hand how well he sutures, he insisted on finishing up his stitches yesterday. He was precise and careful and…" Meredith trailed off. "I think you should give him a chance."

"Am I correct to assume you two are together?" Richard asked. Meredith was suddenly unsure. Were they together? She hoped they would be.

"For the time being, sir" she answered, unable to think of anything else to classify their relationship as.

"Thank you, Dr. Grey for your cooperation. You can get back to work now" the Chief dismissed her. Meredith hurriedly left his office, hoping with all her being that Mark would be interviewed and that the Chief would disregard their beginning relationship.

It had been a slow morning in the E.R. for Meredith. A few cuts to suture, minor headaches and stomach aches, a sprained ankle. She had been hoping for something a little bit more exciting, maybe even something surgical, but instead she was catching up on paperwork while the flow was slow. "Dr. Grey?" a nurse asked.

"Yes, that's me" Meredith responded, looking up from her chart to the red headed nurse.

"There is a patient in curtain three who insists that you see him" the nurse said, gesturing to the closed curtains.

"Thank you, Olivia" Meredith said as she walked to curtain three, wondering who on earth could be requesting her. She pulled open the curtains and there he was. Mark. Why was he here? Was he hurt? "Mark! Why are you here?" Meredith asked with concern and excitement creeping into her voice.

"I think I have a condition" Mark replied, serious.

"Oh, what are the symptoms?" Meredith was uneasy. He seemed so serious and it was worrying her.

"My mind isn't clear, I can't get this girl out of my head" He grinned. Meredith felt relief wash over her and she was incredibly glad that he wasn't actually sick.

"In my professional opinion, it seems like you have a Meredith-deficiency" She smiled, a slight blush rising to her cheeks. It was amazing how Mark could make her feel so giddy and so comfortable, and he had only said a few words.

"Really, doc? Do I have it bad?" Mark kept up their charade.

"It's chronic, Mr. Sloan. But it is treatable" Meredith used her most serious doctor voice. "And the treatment is to take this girl on a date."

"I can manage that one" Mark winked as he got up off the bed. "Now, for serious business. Can you take me to Chief Webber's office?"

"Of course I can" Meredith said as they began to walk to the exit. "Olivia, I will be right back. Page me if you need anything." They continued walking through the hallways, passing nurses and patients. They walked close enough that their arms were touching but he didn't grab her hand. It was silent even as they waited for the elevator.

As soon as they stepped in the empty elevator, Meredith felt instantly more comfortable. She was away from all the prying eyes and gossip mongers. Mark turned to her and reached out to gently stroke her cheek. Carefully he bent down and kissed her softly. With a small sigh, Meredith put her arms around his neck forcing his body closer to hers. Their kiss continued until they felt the elevator stop. They stepped out together, still in silence as Meredith walked Mark across to the Chief's office. As they stopped outside the door, Meredith turned to him. "Let's do this again sometime" she said breaking their silence and walked back down to the E.R., her lips still tingling with the memory of his.

"So you're saying that McSteamy is going to work here?" Cristina asked as the group of interns sat down at their usual lunch table. Meredith had just been explaining why the Chief had called her in to talk to him.

"I left him at the Chief's door. I hope he got the job" Meredith replied, mixing her salad.

"He is here? And you saw him again? Did things get steamy in the elevator?" Izzie questioned. Meredith just rolled her eyes. Leave it to Izzie to make things all about romance.

"That's not important. We get to work under Mark Sloan. The Mark Sloan" Cristina cut Izzie off.

"Most people would kill for this opportunity. We know Yang would" Alex said with a slight edge in his voice. He and Cristina were always opposing each other.

"And what's it to you, Evil Spawn? Interested in boob jobs and tummy tucks?" Cristina threw back at him.

"Actually I am. Plastics is an area I am considering" Alex replied. Cristina scoffed at the remark while Meredith shook her head.

"We don't even know if he is going to work here yet," Meredith said. "He could be rejected any minute."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that" George muttered, looking pointedly to the doors behind Meredith. She turned in her chair to see the Chief showing Mark the cafeteria.  
"Oh my god, it's McSteamy" Izzie whispered. From the looks of it, it seemed that Mark had secured the job and charmed the Chief. Meredith continued to stare at him, once again mesmerized with the memories of their kisses. He smiled at her when they made eye contact then turned his attention back to the Chief. Meredith watched them say a few things before leaving the cafeteria. "I think he got the job."

"Of course he did. The chief would be stupid not to" Cristina remarked as she stood up. "I have a surgery to watch." Alex and Izzie stood with her, both ready to get on with their day. Only George was left with Meredith. He looked like he needed to say something.

"What is it, George?" Meredith asked him with a hint of concern. He was always needing to say something to her. She wasn't oblivious to his crush on her, she just chose not to recognize it. She figured that he would realize that she wasn't interested and would move on.

"Meredith...Why do you always go for those kinds of guys? Not, you know, maybe the guy who is right here for you or um, the guy who would be right there for you. And who knows you and supports you and…" George rambled.

"George, you're rambling. Get to the point" Meredith said, hoping that if he wouldn't understand the social cues than maybe a verbal rejection would let him move on. She knew that he could have had something good with the nurse Olivia. Or maybe a new girl would come into his life.

"It's just that I have been here the whole time. You fell for McDreamy and now you're falling for McSteamy but couldn't you maybe for once fall for McGeorge?" he finished. Meredith sighed.

"George, you are really great. You know that, I know that. But it wouldn't work out between us George. Maybe one day, but not now. I really like Mark. I think he will be good for me, even better than Derek was. He is a better man and I want him right now."

"I know, Mer" George stood up somberly and took his tray, disappointment in his step as he walked away. She hated saying that to him but she knew that George needed to hear it. He needed to know that they weren't going to be together and that Mark was the man in her heart.

Meredith had still not spoken to Mark since earlier in the day. She had seen him at lunch and then once while his tour had brought him to the E.R., but she had an incoming patient and couldn't stop to go say hi. "Dr. Grey" came a woman's voice from behind Meredith. Meredith turned around to see Addison staring her down, arms crossed.

"How can I help you, Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd?" Meredith asked with a fake smile plastered to her face, a false kindness in her voice. Deep down she still despised Addison for showing up out of the blue and taking Derek from her.

"What is this I hear about Mark getting a job here? Are you trying to sabotage my marriage?" Addison fumed.

"No, I'm not trying to" Meredith replied coolly, trying to keep her emotions at bay.

"Then why did you tell the Chief to hire him? Honestly, Meredith, I thought we could handle this professionally. I mean afterall you were the woman who slept with my husband. Of course he chose me over you. I am his wife" Addison raised her voice.

"Addie, calm down" Mark said, walking into the E.R. towards the two women. "You can't blame her for wanting Derek, afterall you left him first."

"What are you doing here, Mark?" Addison snapped. Meredith had been wondering the same thing.

"I work here now, Addie, so get used to seeing me" Mark said with a grin. Addison let out an angry sigh as she stormed away, leaving Mark with Meredith.

"You got the job!" Meredith exclaimed, throwing her arms around his neck.

"Yes, the Chief fell in love with me. But can you blame him?" Mark laughed, wrapping his arms around Meredith and pulling her close. "Now, can we pick up where we left off this morning?"

"Let's get out of here first" Meredith said, giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I love reading all of your reviews! It is really an inspiration to keep writing when I check in and see all of the great thing you all say. Thank you :) Alright, here comes the beginning of a lot of drama. Enjoy!**

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Meredith could be skipping if she wanted to bring attention to herself. But since she didn't want to feed the gossip mill, she walked calmly through the halls and her way to Bailey. In reality she was on cloud nine. After leaving the hospital last night, her and Mark went out to dinner. They flirted shamelessly and stayed all the way til closing. She had allowed him to drive her home, knowing she could get a ride with Izzie in the morning. He kissed her goodnight and it was quite the kiss. It left her wanting more but before she could break down and ask him inside, he said goodnight and walked away, leaving her breathless at the front door. And now she couldn't wait to see him again.

"Dr. Grey, how nice of you to finally show up. It's not like we have lives to save" Bailey said, her head still down looking over the chart. "Grey, you're working with Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd today. She specially requested you. I don't know what you did to piss her off but she was adamant about having you so don't even think about trying to change it"

Meredith sighed and reluctantly began the trek up to the NICU. Once she was there she had time to look at the tiny babies. She had never given too much thought to having children. It had always been a firm no in her head. But then she met Derek and that firm no turned into a soft no, a no that might be persuaded into a maybe or a yes if he tried hard enough. And now that she had met Mark, she was almost considering a maybe. He had a magnetic draw to him and she could almost see a future of she thought hard enough. But inevitably she cut off those thoughts before they materialized. There was still a lot that could go wrong, a lot that could blow up in her face so it would be best to not even go there.

"You're not being paid to stand around, Grey" Addison snapped. "I have four expectant mothers who could be going into labor any minute now. And you are going to monitor them all day starting with a thorough pelvic exam, stool and urine collection and I want reports on my desk every hour."

"Anything else?" Meredith asked half-heartedly, knowing it was going to be a long day.

"Yes, stop threatening my marriage. Stop flirting with Derek." Addison ordered, staring Meredith down.

"Don't worry, Derek is the least attractive man in my world. There is no way in hell I would ever want him back" Meredith assured her, but deep down she knew it was partially a lie. She would probably do anything to have Derek back. Despite being with Mark, part of her heart still longed for Derek and his dreaminess. Addison gave Meredith an unconvinced look before quickly walking away, leaving Meredith a moment of quietness before she started her heavy workload.

Elsewhere in the hospital Mark was eagerly getting surgeries scheduled. He had already scheduled rhinoplasty and was making plans to fit in a burn repair. "Dr. Sloan, I know you don't have an intern assigned to your cases today but I am just working the E.R. and if you needed some help I am more than willing to be there and assist" Alex said politely to Mark, as he was double checking a chart.

"Karev, right?" Mark asked, not even looking up.

"Yes sir, Alex Karev. Plastics is one of my top specialties that I am considering" Alex began.

"Are you blowing off the emergency room to kiss my ass, Karev?" Mark questioned, secretly enjoying the power he had over the interns. Just because he was seeing Meredith it didn't mean that he was friends with her friends. "Because if you are, shame on you. Emergency rooms are important training grounds, I would never ignore it."

"But, Dr. Sloan sir, it is a slow day and…"

"Don't say those words Karev, it will jinx everything. Get your ass back to the E.R. to deal with the curse you just brought on" Mark ordered, finally looking up at Alex as he hurriedly left to get to the E.R.. Mark chuckled.

"So you are already badgering the interns" the Chief laughed, walking up to Mark. "How is your first day treating you? I see you have a rhinoplasty scheduled."

"Yes sir," Mark smiled. "It's good to be here, Chief."

"And it's good to have you, Dr. Sloan. Feel free to ask Dr. Bailey for an intern at anytime. She will work you into the rotation."

"Perfect, thank you sir" Mark replied. 

Meredith leaned her head back against the wall, closing her eyes. She had just dropped off her fifth report of her patients to a grumpy Addison. All morning she had been running between four very pregnant, high risk mothers doing exams and checking the vitals of both mother and baby. Only one of the patients was increasingly crabby, one time throwing her remote at Meredith when she woke the mother from a nap to check on the baby. It was just about lunch time and Meredith had to go get a quick bite to eat before heading right back to get the next hourly report for Addison. The last thing Meredith wanted was an even more pissed off attending.

Meredith quickly made her way to the cafeteria, hoping to get a sandwich and some water. But when she got there, the line was extremely long and it would take her time that she didn't have just to get something small. With an exasperated sigh, she turned to find the closest vending machine. "Dr. Grey, how nice to see you again" a male voice came from behind her. Meredith stopped, a smile creeping across her face as she recognized Mark. She turned to see him holding a brown paper bag, a knowing grin spreading across his face.

"Hello, Dr. Sloan" Meredith replied.

"I accidentally ordered for two and I was looking for someone to relieve the burden" Mark stepped closer. "Perhaps you could help a man out" he purred.

"I think I know a place where we could be alone" Meredith whispered, turning sharply and heading out of the cafeteria. Knowing Mark would be following she made her way to the hospital basement to the extra bed that she and her intern friends would sit on occasionally. Luckily it was empty for now. She had just sat down on the bed when Mark rounded the corner. "Come, have a seat" Meredith patted the place beside her. He made her way to her with a sly grin.

"Are you really hungry?" he asked, standing in front of her. "I know of plenty of places that are more private than this." Meredith sat up on her knees, wrapping her arms around his neck. Instead of answering him, she gently kissed along his jaw carefully grazing his stubble and loving the way it felt on her lips. Eventually she made her way to his lips, beginning slowly but picking up the pace. Mark wrapped one hand around her waist, pulling her flush against him. His other hand cupped her face, holding her to his kiss.

"There are on-call rooms for this, don't contaminate this place with your McNasty germs" Cristina's voice rang out. Meredith quickly pulled away, whipping her head around to see Cristina standing with her arms folded. "Some of us have to nap in between surgeries" she yawned.

"Yeah, yeah whatever" Meredith grumbled, getting up from the bed. "It's all yours Cristina," she said reluctantly. She looked at her watch and realized if she didn't go now, she would be late for her next report to Addison. "I'm sorry, Mark but I have to go. Addison will kill me if I am late."

"Screw Addison" Mark said pulling Meredith to him again.

"I think that was your job" Cristina muttered to which Meredith gave her a glare.

"I don't want to make her hate me anymore than she already does" Meredith added, half-heartedly pulling away from Mark. "I will see you tonight though, let's grab a drink or something."

"Perfect," Mark agreed, sneaking in one last kiss before letting her go.

Meredith practically ran to the elevators and willed them to go faster. She knew she wouldn't make it on time but it wouldn't hurt to try and go faster. Finally the elevator stopped on the right floor and she sot out of it like a bullet. Meredith quickly made it to her patients rooms, taking a thorough but quick check of their vitals. She was only twenty minutes late to her report and as she was walking to Addison's office she silently pleaded for an empty office.

It was just her luck though that Addison would be sitting at her desk. "All vitals look good" Meredith announced, carefully making her way to Addison's desk.

"Good but twenty minutes late" Addison snapped. "And why are they twenty minutes late?"

"Um, the cafeteria was a zoo" Meredith lied partially. "It was hard trying to get through the line on time."

"It is especially hard when you don't even try and instead leave with Mark Sloan to do god knows what with him in an on-call room" Addison accused. Taking in Meredith's shocked expression Addison continued, "I have eyes everywhere, Grey. If you are going to be spending the time you are supposed to be learning and working on sleeping with every attending in this hospital, I will make sure you never see the inside of an O.R.".

As much as Meredith wanted to argue and stick up for herself, she knew it would only make matters worse. Addison was not one to be argued with and Meredith definitely didn't need to add more fuel to her fire. "It won't happen again" Meredith assured her.

"It better not" Addison dismissed her with a wave of her hand.

The rest of the afternoon passed similar to the morning, every hour Meredith took the vitals of her patients and laid a report on Addison's desk. Eventually Addison stopped hounding Meredith everytime she stepped in her office, an action that worried Meredith. She had no doubt that Addison was not over it. If anything, Addison was thinking of new ways to torture Meredith. Finally it was the end of her shift and Meredith placed the final report on Addison's desk. She made her way to the empty locker room and quickly changed out of her scrubs, anxious to go see Mark.

The elevator doors opened to reveal Mark, casually leaning against the back of an empty elevator. Meredith stepped in with a grin. "Hey stranger" She said walking straight to him, intent on kissing him. Right as she was about to touch her lips to his, she noticed Mark tense up. Questioning the reason she looked up to see his furrowed brow, his eyes stormy and looking to the doors. She turned to see Addison and Derek step into the elevator as the doors shut behind them. Meredith stepped away from Mark and decided to stand a foot away from him.

The tension in the elevator was so thick, Meredith swore she could cut it with scalpel. She looked at the floor, wishing it to go faster so she could get out of the confined space. Suddenly Addison whipped around, a malicious tint to her eyes. "There is no need to hide the fact that you two are together" her voice sickly sweet. "In order to help us all get past this phase, let's go on a double date tonight." To that, Derek turned to look at Addison with curiosity and rage.

"Addison, why on earth would you suggest such a thing?" he growled, anger bubbling inside him.

"We are all grown-ups, Derek. We can handle getting drinks together" Addison replied, staring intently at Meredith, making her feel like a big under a magnifying glass.

"Sounds like a great idea. I'm in" Mark said, his voice cutting the tension and shattering Meredith's hopes.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I do really like Addison, but for the purpose of this story she needed to be one of the main antagonists so apologies to the Addison fans out there. Maybe she will gain some redemption later on but until then, the drama continues!**

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"Perfect," Addison smiled. "Let's go to Joe's now then." Meredith stared up at Mark. He just looked at her and shrugged, a curious grin on his face. Meredith crossed her arms and as they walked out of the elevator she mumbled something about seriously needing a drink.  
"I thought you always liked getting a drink," Mark questioned, catching up to Meredith.  
"I do. But not with the my ex and his wife who hates my guts," Meredith explained with frustration. "I spent all day with Addison and it was awful. I don't want to go and spend my freetime with the attending who yelled at me and made me do hourly vitals on women about to go into labor!"

"I know it can be hard to work with Addie sometimes," Mark stayed calm which only made Meredith more upset. "She means well, Mer. She is a great surgeon and has a lot to offer an intern."

"Are you defending her now? Are you taking sides?" Meredith inquired. "She might be a great teacher and surgeon but that doesn't mean I have to go have a drink with her and her husband!"

"Hey, it might be fun," Mark said, still hoping to go. "Just this once and if you don't like it we can leave okay?" He offered her his hand and reluctantly, Meredith laced her fingers with his.

"Fine," Meredith still was unconvinced that is was a good idea. And she wasn't the only one. Derek seemed just as put out by it and he was angrily trying to talk Addison out of it.

"He's not my friend anymore, I don't want to see his lying face" Derek fumed. "And suddenly you want to see my mistress?"

"Derek, it's just one date. Let's just see how it goes," Addison attempted to take his hand, but he refused and instead stormed out the door. Addison followed him with Mark quickly on her heels, pulling Meredith as she rolled her eyes.

When they arrived to Joe's, Addison secured a tall table close to the bar while Derek and Mark got drinks. Addison sat across from Meredith with a wicked grin. "Aren't you excited, Meredith?" Addison asked.

"Absolutely thrilled," Meredith replied with heavy sarcasm, anxiously waiting for her tequila. Addison smiled at Meredith as the men returned with their drinks. Meredith took an eager sip of her tequila as Mark sat down beside her and Derek next to Addison.

The four adults sat there is a heavy silence for what seemed like forever. Meredith couldn't look at anyone so she stared down at her drink, mindlessly swirling it. Derek cleared his throat but said nothing and took a big sip of his scotch, while Addison poked at the olives in her martini.

"Did anyone have any good surgeries, today?" Mark asked breaking the silence. No one answered so he answered his own question. "I did a skin graft today on a firefighter who saved three people. An impressive man."

"It was a routine day," Derek said without feeling. Addison nodded but didn't add anything.

Silence filled the table again. The hum of the bar around them filled the space. No one made eye contact and the tension grew to an almost unbearable feeling.

"So Derek, have you written anymore songs recently?" Mark broke the quiet again. Derek met Mark's eye and furrowed his eyebrows.

"No," Derek stated firmly.

"I just thought maybe you had written a few for Mer or even Addie when she got back," Mark said. Since when did Derek write songs? Meredith had never even heard him sing, not even a hum. She never would guess he was musical.

"You are a songwriter?" Meredith questioned curiously, finally looking into the dreamy blue eyes of Derek.

"I wrote one song for Addison," Derek muttered.

"He is a good writer," Addison interjected, pride leaking into her voice. "When he writes from the heart, it's beautiful. I am sure nothing could have been written about a mistress." Meredith almost choked on her drink as she stared at Addison. Derek shook his head, while Mark clenched a fist.  
"Are you saying that nothing in our relationship was real since I was just your mistress?" Mark seemed hurt.

"We were different, Mark" Addison tried to explain but was cut off by Derek.

"Different as in you were in my bedroom instead of on the other side of the country, and with my best friend" Derek clarified, his words venomous. "At least I reached out to someone better than Mark, better than a cheating best friend and brother, better than a womanizer." Meredith was infuriated. How dare Derek bad mouth Mark. She was not about to let him get away with it. But rather fight fire with fire, she decided to add some water. To make it more... steamy.

Meredith inched her chair closer to Mark and reached up to gently trace his jaw, a move she used to use on Derek that he loved.

"At least the womanizing pays off in the sex" she stated seductively, her hand trailing down his torso. "I can't complain there" she winked.

"It's true" Mark agreed, catching on slightly. "I have never heard you complain, just beg." Meredith giggled, her hand dropping to his lap where it came to rest on his thigh. He carefully and slowly moved his arm so it circled her waist, his fingertips teasing the bottom of her blouse.

Meredith looked up to see Derek's eyes staring directly into hers, anger distorting his features.

"Disgusting" He muttered.

"What was that, Derek?" Meredith asked.

"We are in a public place, how could you be doing that here?" He kept his eyes on hers.

"You're one to talk. It was this very bar where you and I began to do the same thing. We were lucky that Joe didn't kick us out" Meredith kept her voice even as she recalled that fateful night when she met Derek and how they were all over each other before they had even walked out the door.

"This is ridiculous" Derek shook his head.

"Me moving on was ridiculous? Isn't that what you wanted? Me moving on. I have stopped pining over you now. After all _you_ made the choice to stay with Addison. And if Mark and I are nothing more than dirty mistresses, we might as well enjoy the company because right now it's better than any you have been giving me," Meredith fought to keep her emotions in check. She was so tired of him fighting her for her choices. He left her for Addison. She asked him to choose her. He chose Addison. Now Meredith was free to be with whoever she wanted. But Derek was still acting like a hurt puppy who followed Meredith and cried whenever she gave someone else attention. In her spiteful state, Meredith turned to Mark and gave him a slow and passionate kiss.

"That's it. I've had enough," Derek stated, finishing his scotch before raging out of the bar. Addison looked defeated, her plan to make Meredith and Mark angry had failed. Instead, she may have done the opposite and brought them closer together. Without a word, she stood and left Mark and Meredith alone.

"What the hell was that?" Mark asked pulling away from the kiss, his face still close to Meredith's.

"The fastest way to end this date" Meredith replied, finishing her tequila.

"Are you saying you want to go have this mind blowing sex? You will never want that date to end" Mark whispered into her hair, pulling her close again. Meredith giggled and slipped away from him, inching her way to the door.

"You'll have to catch me first" Meredith invited, strolling out the door into the warm Seattle night. She began to meander down the sidewalk, slowly enough so Mark would eventually catch up to her. Upon hearing footsteps behind her, Meredith turned to see Mark giving her his signature smile.

"Are you ready now?" he growled. Meredith shook her head and continued walking away from him. For awhile she heard no footsteps and then suddenly she heard someone running her way. Mark's arms wrapped around her, stopping their movements. "I caught you" he whispered in her ear. She responded by turning around in his arms so she was facing him. Shadows were cast over his face giving him the dark and stormy look that set him so far apart from Derek. Meredith stood on her tiptoes, leaning into Mark and gave him a light kiss.  
As he moved to make the kiss more passionate, Meredith felt rain drops gently hit her head. As the kiss grew stronger, so did the rain. Drops were hitting her cheek, running down to her chin before dropping once more like a tear. They began fall faster, sinking through her blouse and hitting her skin. Breaking away from the kiss, Meredith started laughing leaning her head back to embrace the rain. Mark watched her in admiration, the yellow from the street lights giving her face a golden and heavenly look. Her smile lit up and the rain was a welcomed. He stepped back to see more of her, her laughter and ethereal presence. She could be just what he was looking for.

Suddenly, thunder rumbled through the sky and the rain that was once a welcome presence turned into a pelting force, stinging skin when it made contact. Meredith grabbed Mark's hand, pulling him back towards the hospital. "No" he pulled her hand the other direction. "The hotel is closer." He grinned and led her down the block in the pouring rain. They crossed the street, hopping over puddles before entering the hotel lobby in a breathless rush. Thoroughly soaked they made their way to the elevator. It was empty as Meredith leaned against the back railing, trying to catch her breath. As the doors closed, Mark was immediately kissing Meredith again. Meredith would never be able to catch her breath. The kiss went from a want to need in an instant. Meredith ran her fingers through his short hair and his hands explored her body, carefully caressing over the wet fabric. He rested his hands under her legs, lifting her so she was pinned to the wall, sitting precariously on the small railing her legs wrapped around him.

The elevator came to a stop, a ding indicating the opening of doors. Mark lifted Meredith and carried her out the elevator and down the hall, while her lips graced his face with feathery kisses. He leaned into the door to reach into his pocket for the room key and kissed Meredith while reaching to open to door to his suite. With the door slamming behind them, Mark let Meredith down and they once again kissed with fury. Mark led Meredith to the bedroom, unbuttoning her shirt as they went. Her hands fidgeted with the button on his jeans.

Meredith felt the bed on the back on her legs and it brought her back to reality. Back to a reality that this was Mark, not a one night stand and definitely not Derek. "Wait" she asked, breaking from the kiss. She looked into Mark's eyes and she was filled with the fear of ruining whatever this was. Filled with the fear of being heartbroken again. She never wanted to be left in the crushing position that Derek had left he in. "What are we doing?"

"What we do best, being dirty mistresses" he unbuttoned another of her buttons, gently kissing her cheek and jaw.

"Mark," Meredith exhaled. She desperately wanted to keep going but she also had to stop. "Stop" she put her hands on his chest and pushed just a little.

"What's wrong, Mer?" He asked, confusion in his face.

"I can't keep going. I have to stop" she whispered reluctantly, tears suddenly filling her eyes. Mark said nothing, just turned and left to the adjoining room, leaving Meredith to sink to the bed, tear drops now running down her face.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Here's the answer to the cliffhanger of last chapter. This is mostly a backstory chapter and is very introspective for Meredith and Mark. Enjoy and please review :)**

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Meredith sat with her arms hugging her knees on the foot of the bed, shivering and tears falling down her cheeks. She thought for sure she had run Mark off, that he was never coming back to her. She had heard the door slam shut as he left. In that moment she hated all of it. She hated how the past few months had gone and wished she could do it differently. But she also didn't know if she wanted to. Did she wish she was with Derek? Did she wish she never slept with him? Did she wish she never got involved with Mark?

She didn't know.

All Meredith could do was rest her head on her knees while her tears flowed openly. Her wet shirt clung to her body, making her insides shiver. She knew that the reasonable thing to do would be to leave. After all, this was Mark's hotel room and she had no right to be here. And he probably would not want to see her here anyways so the right thing to do would be to get up and leave. But try as she might, her muscles wouldn't move. Something was telling her to stay so she stayed, folded up on the foot of the bed trying desperately to get warm again. She sat for a long while on the bed, getting colder and colder.

Eventually, she heard the door open again. It was probably Mark coming to throw her out. She had really ruined, she could tell as she looked up to see Mark standing in the doorway his arms hidden behind him. "Stand up, Meredith" he commanded, his voice harsh. She did as she asked trying to wipe the tears away. Mark then crossed to her and held out a robe. "Change into this, and let your clothes dry," he ordered, his voice still distant. Meredith sighed in relief as Mark handed her the soft robe. She went to the bathroom to change but was confused. As she carefully stripped off her soaked blouse and peeled off her jeans, she wondered why he had even dared to come back. Why was he being to kind to her? When she reentered the bedroom, clad in the warm and fuzzy robe, Mark was changed and sitting on the bed, staring intently at the wall with furrowed brows. Meredith hesitantly crossed to the bed and sat next to him.

"Will you stay here tonight?" He asked, a hint of sadness in his voice and all the harshness gone. "Just for a while at least." Meredith nodded as silence filled the space between them. She didn't know what to say to him so she opted to say nothing. It would be better to stay silent than get muddled in the feelings she felt inside. "Meredith, what was happening earlier? At Joe's you were all over me but the moment we got here you shut it down. I don't understand. Was it something I did? Or something I said?"

"No" Meredith replied in a low voice.

"Then what was it? I thought everything was good between us" He asked, confused. "Does this have anything to do with me advocating for Addie earlier?"

"No," Meredith whispered.

"Mer, talk to me. Don't shut down, just tell me what is going on inside that beautiful head of yours. You can trust me," Mark said softly, concern filling his green blue eyes. "I know it's hard sometimes to make words but not even trying to say something will build walls inside you. All I want to do is be here for you and have you trust me." Hearing those words made Meredith tear up again. She closed her eyes as the tears escaped from her eyes. "Oh, Meredith" Mark whispered, he put an arm around her pulling her close. She buried her head in his neck, as she broke down a little bit more. Mark pulled her into his lap and held her as she cried. He rubbed her back gently as she fought to catch her breath. 

Meredith cried all the tears she had stored up for the past few months as she was held by Mark. Sometime in the bout of crying, he had moved them all the way on the bed and they were now leaning into the pillows. Meredith sniffed, sitting up to rub her eyes and grab a tissue to blow her nose. She had given up on trying to be attractive, deciding to trust in Mark completely. To her surprise, Mark looked unfazed and took a tissue to wipe away the running mascara under her eyes with tender hands and a kind look. "What's wrong, Mer?" he whispered, kissing her forehead as she leaned back into his neck.

"Derek broke me. He took my heart and shattered it" Meredith answered, tears blurring her vision again. "And I haven't picked up the pieces yet." She paused, catching her breath. "I thought he was my forever and always. I had never had such a long and loving relationship. In high school and college, my relationships were never that serious." Meredith took a deep breath, voice quiet and shaky. "But then Derek worked his way into my heart with his love and compassion, and that damn smile. When Addison showed up, I was crushed. Everything I had worked for with him fell apart. It took so much to let my guard down and let him be more of a serious boyfriend. I even begged him to come back to me. I was desperate to have that love again. But he chose her. And he continually chooses her even though he looks miserable with her and still treats me like I am his, like I belong to him when he chooses to see me. That's all that it ever is. When he wants to acknowledge me and when he wants to leave his wife. Its always on his terms.

"I am tired of him being jealous but never acting on it. Tonight it was a breaking point with what he said about you and about me. I couldn't take hearing him be so cruel to us. I want him to know the pain he has put me through."

"So you showed him our relationship" Mark put the pieces together. "To let him see what you see." Meredith nodded.

"I wanted him to see how his choice of Addison killed me. And I knew seeing you with me would kill him" Meredith sighed, closing her eyes.

"Derek has always been blind and has never thought much about hurting others. Even when we were younger, he would shamelessly break hearts and lead girls on. I was there to naively pick up the pieces, his women throwing themselves at me after he moved on. But when he did that to Addison, it was too much. When we met her, we made a bet. We bet on who would take her out first. I was so intent on getting her as she was different than any other woman I had ever met. But I saw the way she looked at Derek despite all my efforts. She had fallen for him and I couldn't think of her heart breaking if Derek suddenly gave up on her. So I backed off. I became her best friend instead and pushed her Derek's direction. I willingly gave him the thirty dollars to help pay for their first date.

"They had gone out for a year when I could see that Derek was happy with her. He was in love with her. And even if I hurt me, seeing my best friends fall in love was beautiful. And they were madly and fully in love. That's why when he started to drop her, stopped talking to her and ignoring her, I picked up the pieces again. I was there for Addie as a friend and then one night something more. I was thrilled that Addie was choosing me, and still infuriated with Derek for shutting her down. She had become the Addison you see now. She never was this cold and conniving, she used to be fun and sarcastic and kind. She is different because of Derek," Mark's voice caught. Meredith sat up to see his eyes watery, tears threatening to fall and she pulled him into a tight hug.

"Damn that McDreamy" Meredith said softly. Mark laughed quietly pulling away from Meredith.

"McDreamy?" He asked with a small smile. Meredith laughed.

"Yes," she said in between laughs. "And you're McSteamy." Mark laughed even louder. They both let the small humor replace their sadness and laughed until their sides hurt.  
"Maybe you should change his name now" Mark joked.

"It should be McAss" Meredith suggested, giggling as she said it. The humor left her rapidly, though. "I could barely stand what he said about you tonight. You were never given enough credit for all you do. Derek has always been oblivious to that. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Mer" Mark said in an almost whisper. "I found you now, and I don't plan on ever cleaning up Derek's destruction again." He brought his forehead down to lean on hers.

"Does this change our relationship?" Meredith whispered, not trusting her voice. She hoped that if anything, they were closer together and closer to becoming that forever and always Meredith had dreamed for. Instead of verbally responding, Mark gave her a slow and gentle kiss.

"Not at all," he reassured her before kissing her again. 

Meredith eventually fell asleep, her lips tingling from Mark's. She had curled up next to his strong, warm body and closed her tired eyes, finally feeling safe and secure. Mark tucked in next to her, pulling to blankets up over her shoulders and giving her a goodnight kiss on her forehead. "Derek doesn't deserve you" he reminded the quietly snoring Meredith. It made him furious that Derek had a habit of shattering women, even the non romantic relations. Derek loved his mother, but Derek never let her mother him. She was left distraught without her husband and now with a distant son. Mark was there to step in for Carolyn and be a son who needed a mother. Still to this day Mark would call her to check in with her, something Derek had rarely done, and Mark would still visit her over the holidays when her other children were away. Even for Derek's sisters, Mark had been there. Through Nancy, Kathleen and Liz it had been merely a one night dreary mistake by morning but with Derek's little sister, Amelia, Mark had been constantly there for her. Derek always was on her case about something and constantly berating her. There were many nights were Amelia came in tears and rage to Mark. Through the drugs, alcohol and partying, Mark was there for her. Something Derek never was. Even though they had long since stopped sleeping together, Mark was Amelia's person. Amelia still called him when things were rough and she needed him to bring her back to reality. It was as if Derek wouldn't allow himself to feel anything but negative around his family. He couldn't open up at all. And that's where Mark had stepped in, as an emotionally distraught boy who didn't understand why his parents couldn't love him enough

Meredith rolled over, bring Mark back to the present. Wrapping his arms around Meredith, Mark realized that he had been there long enough to pick up the pieces, and now he wasn't ever wanting to let go of the shattered Meredith. He wanted to always be there for her and help her repair her heart so that maybe one day she could love him fully. 

The morning sun filtered in through the window, lighting the sleeping figures. As it lit up Meredith's face she slowly opened her eyes slowly, adjusting to the sudden brightness. Taking a deep breath she tried to figure out where she was again. Shifting under the blanket she felt an arm draped haphazardly across her waist. Mark. A smile graced her lips as butterflies filled her abdomen. She was in a bed with Mark. Even though they hadn't done anything but sleep, she found it strangely intimate. She carefully rolled over to face Mark's sleeping figure. She took in every detail of his face and happiness filled her. Sure her and Derek had slept in the same bed multiple times, but she never felt this content. He had never held her as she bawled and told him her true feelings. He had never opened his heart and got to the brink of tears with her. He had never been there emotionally as Mark was. Meredith had never felt so close to a person and it was overwhelming. No one in her life had been there for her solely. Her mother was always distant, never giving her the time of day and now she didn't even remember Meredith. Her father was absent, never around for her to recall. Her friend Sadie was a partier, never a positive and emotional friend. Cristina was her person, but not someone who would rock her to sleep and be so kind. Cristina was the good kind of cold most of the time. It grounded Meredith. Derek was so happy but also so brooding and jealous that he would never let her cry about her ex to him.

There was no one for her except Mark. And she wanted no one to ever replace him.

Tears filled her eyes again as this wonderful feeling of Mark filled her. "Meredith" Mark's sleepy voice was laced with concern. "What's wrong?"

"Absolutely nothing" Meredith replied with a smile. Mark blinked, trying to brush off the sleepy haze.

"Then why are you crying?" He asked, pulling her closer to him.

"Because of you and how you were there for me, no questions asked" Meredith answered enjoying being close to him again. He brushed away her tears with his thumb, and then rested his hand on her cheek, cradling her face as he leaned in for a kiss.

"Meredith, I will always be here for you" he whispered against her lips. "I always want to be here for you."

"I want you there" Meredith admitted, her heart hammering. It was the closest she had gotten to saying 'I love you' to anyone ever. It didn't terrify her but instead felt so right. It felt right to be with Mark.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Out of the safety of the hotel room and into the fire of the hospital! Warning, this chapter includes a lot of medical terms and since Meredith is with Addison, there is a lot of medical talk about pregnancy and the female body. Also, I am not a medical professional so if I get anything wrong, please forgive me.**

* * *

The rain had left Seattle for the day it seemed. The sun was shining as bright as ever as Mark and Meredith walked hand in hand through the front doors of Seattle Grace. Smiles were permanently etched into their faces every time they looked at each other. They gleefully avoided Derek and Addison as Mark walked Meredith to the intern's locker room. "See you around," he gave her a quick kiss before heading off to the attendings lounge. Meredith watched him go before pushing through the door and to her locker. She had just finished changing into her scrubs when the usual gang showed up.

"Did you come home last night?" George asked with worry.

"No" Meredith answered simply. She really didn't want to get into detail about it but knew they were going to ask anyways.

"So you were with Mark?" Izzie questioned coyly. "How was the sex?"

"We didn't have sex, Iz" Meredith pulled her lab coat from her locker.

"Yeah sure" Izzie sounded unconvinced.

"I meant to come home last night, it's just that one thing led to another and I fell asleep before I could leave" Meredith replied as Cristina walked up to them. "Hi, Cristina."

"What did you do to Shepherd last night?" Cristina raised an eyebrow.

"You had sex with McDreamy again?!" Izzie exclaimed, excited to hear the gossip.  
"Not again" George muttered, shaking his head.

"I did not!" Meredith defended herself, shutting her locker door.

"Well, you did something. He freaked out at a scrub nurse this morning and called her Meredith" Cristina explained. "Burke saw the whole thing."

"It's a long story" Meredith shook her head in disbelief. Damn Derek Shepherd. He would just keep feeding the gossip mill over and over again. "Addison invited me and Mark out on double date with her and Derek."

"What a bitch" Cristina said under her breath.

"Derek was not pleased to see me and Mark together" Meredith finished. "He left very angry."

"Serves him right," Cristina assured Meredith. "He chose her over you so this is what he gets."

The interns made their way up to Bailey to check in. Everything had been the same as yesterday but there was a skills lab later in the afternoon. With an inward groan, Meredith made her way back up to the NICU. "Good morning Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd" Meredith said neutrally as she approached Addison.

"We have a new patient this morning, complaining of abnormal bleeding. Here is her chart, study it and in ten minutes meet me in her room" Addison said coldly, before walking away.

Meredith studied the chart, relieved to not be running vitals all day long and maybe getting a surgery out of this.

Ten minutes later, Meredith stood at the foot of a patient bed. "This is Marlene Carmichael, a thirty-six year old woman, pregnant for the second time. She is in her third trimester, nearing the due date which is next month. Mrs. Carmichael is in from a referral from her OB/GYN due to abnormal vaginal bleeding and possibly placenta previa."

"What is that?" Mr. Carmichael interrupted. "Our doctor threw that word around but hasn't explained it. Please, tell us what is going on"

"Dr. Grey" Addison prodded. "Will you explain placenta previa?"

"This is a condition in which the placenta sits lower in the uterus than normal and the last ultrasound shows the placenta covering the cervix."

"This means that to have your baby, you will have to have a C-Section" Addison jumped in, her demeanor changing. Towards a patient she was kind and considerate. Meredith remember what Mark had said last night about Addison changing. And she believed it. Meredith felt as though the side that Addison showed to patients was the more true side of her.

"No. I don't want a C-Section," Marlene cried. "I want a natural birth."

"There is nothing we can do about that" Addison grabbed her hand in a soothing manner. "To deliver your baby, we will have to perform a C-Section. Right now the placenta would prevent the baby from being born which will be extremely dangerous for the both of you. Until you start going into labor, we will have you here on bed rest. It will be okay." Addison stood and began walking towards the door. "Dr. Grey will get a new ultrasound and we will keep you updated." Addison left the room, leaving Meredith with the anxious parents. Meredith grabbed the ultrasound machine and turned it on.

"I am sure you know the drill already" she smiled as Marlene revealed her stomach. "It's going to be cold," Meredith warned as she squirted the gel onto Marlene. "So, do we know if it is a boy or a girl yet, or is it going to be a surprise?"

"A boy" Marlene beamed. "His name will be Mason Cooper."

"I love the name," Meredith smiled as she looked intently at the screen, finding the two little feet of the baby. "So this is your second child?"

"Yes," Marlene replied. "Our daughter was born five years ago. Hanna is with her grandparents now."

"How fun" Meredith paused, looking closer at the ultrasound. She wasn't a radiologist nor had she had years of experience but she could tell that the picture she was receiving wasn't normal. It was true that the placenta was sitting lower than normal and completely covered the cervix. But it was also much thicker than usual. It looked like something more than what Addison had said.

"What's wrong?" Marlene was panicked.

"I am going to take a few pictures for Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd" Meredith smiled, avoiding saying too much. Without much experience, she couldn't make a quick bedside diagnosis. Grabbing the pictures and leaving Marlene and her husband, Meredith found Cristina. "What does this look like to you?" she asked, showing her person the ultrasound.

"Placenta previa" Cristina said nonchalantly.

"Obviously, but there has to be something else. Could it be placenta accreta?" Meredith asked hoping Cristina would see it too.

"It could be" Cristina pulled the ultrasound closed to her face, examining the details of it. "I would bet you that it is accreta. Have you asked McSatan?"

"No, I wanted to be more sure before I asked her. I have no need to make her more mad at me" Meredith complained as she left to go find Addison now.

"I have Marlene Carmichael's ultrasound" Meredith handed the folder to Addison.  
"Thank you" she nodded, looking at them.

"Do you see anything abnormal?" Meredith questioned. "I think there is something more like placenta accreta."

"Dr. Grey, I think I can read an ultrasound and diagnose my patient. This is just a low placenta. It is rare to have accreta, you should know that."

"I am not so sure. Look how abnormal it is" Meredith argued.

"That's because it is covering the cervix. That is very abnormal" Addison raised her voice. "I don't want to hear another word."

"But I think this is more than what was originally thought" Meredith wouldn't let this drop. She needed to keep her patient safe and even if she was wrong, Meredith wanted to be taught not berated. Addison shook her head and began to walk away from Meredith. "Can you at least teach me? If I am wrong, can you explain why I am wrong? Can you teach me how to read an ultrasound better and clarify the results? Is it that hard to be at least professional with me?" This stopped Addison in her tracks and made her whip around, her eyes narrowing.

"When a placenta is low and covers the cervix, it looks different because it is different. We have no reason to believe she had any risk for anything else, her history is clear. If you can't read an ultrasound go find a radiologist" Addison explained quickly and coldly before continuing on her way. Meredith was still unconvinced with Addison's diagnosis but had little power to change it. Afterall, she could still be wrong. However, she did know an attending who could help her out. 

Minutes later Meredith stood in the on-call room waiting for the attending she paged. She was studying the ultrasound and comparing it to earlier ones. Something was still off with the images, Meredith knew it. "You paged?" Mark asked as he closed the door, coming to stand behind Meredith, placing his hands on her hips and pulling her close to him. Meredith allowed him to kiss her neck and cheek. She got lost in the burning trail he was leaving with his kisses.

"I did page," Meredith breathed, looking back to the ultrasounds. "Does this look like something to you?" She held the pictures up.

"You paged me to an on-call room to look at an ultrasound?" Mark paused in his kisses, a hint of amusement in his voice. "Are you sure that's how you want to spend your time?"

Meredith giggled as his lips tickled her ear. "Just five minutes of work and then I am all yours," she bartered.

"I will hold you to that, Dr. Grey" Mark purred before taking a look at the ultrasounds. He compared both of them multiple times. "Placenta previa and accreta" Mark said definitively. "Couldn't Addie have told you that?"

"She refuses to listen to me. She thinks it is only previa" Meredith lamented. "What should I do?"

"Try and bring it up again. Eventually you will find out during the C-Section" Mark advised.

"But she should have the baby now, it would prevent complications and the sooner the baby is born, the sooner a hysterectomy can be performed and it would lessen the chance for hemorrhaging," Meredith argued.

"Then confront Addison again, Mer. It's been a long time since I studied obstetrics but she would be crazy not to listen to you," Mark began to kiss her jaw again. "Can I have all of you now?"

"I suppose you can" Meredith smiled, stepping towards the bed while placing the ultrasound on the table. Mark was right behind her and pulled her into his arms as soon as he could. Their lips met and the kisses were intense. Mark shrugged off his lab coat before sliding his hands under Meredith's white coat and slipping it down over her shoulders until it fell into a heap on the floor. Meredith gently pulled on the hem of Mark's scrub top and he responded by pulling it off of him. Her hands began to slowly explore every inch of his bare chest, each touch burning his skin. Mark lifted Meredith's top over her body and threw it away behind him. With a gentle push from Mark, Meredith fell onto the bed behind her and Mark moving to be next to her. Their lips found each other again as Meredith traced circles over Mark's back and one hand finding it's way into his short hair, pulling him closer to her if that was even possible. She trailed her fingertips over his side and onto his stomach before moving them down to the strings on Mark's scrub bottoms and gently tugging at them.

Their moment of bliss was quickly cut short as Meredith's pager went off. Meredith sighed before attempting to roll out of the bed, but Mark held onto her waist. "Don't leave me now" Mark begged, pulling her back to his chest and covering her with kisses. Meredith groaned. The last thing she wanted was to leave Mark now. He was the only thing on her mind and she wished it would stay that way. Her pager beeped insistently again.

"I have to" Meredith sighed again and successfully went to her lab coat to find the beeping. She pulled it out of the pocket and dread filled her body. Addison had paged her twice with the second being a 9-1-1. "I really have to go now" Meredith ran over to her scrub top and hurriedly pulled it on as she hurried out the door.

As she ran through the hallway, Meredith pulled her lab coat on and hoped that no one was coding. She arrived breathless to Marlene Carmichael's room where Addison was directing nurses and orderlies to get her ready for transport. "Call the O.R. and tell them we are coming now and to prep for an emergency C-Section. Tell them to have some O- waiting for us too. She is bleeding heavily." Addison ordered a nurse.

"What is going on?" Meredith asked, trying to catch her breath.

"When I page you, it means I need you. So get here quicker next time" Addison snapped. "She went into labor and is bleeding severely. The baby needs to be born now."

"No, he isn't supposed to be born until next month" Marlene cried, pain contorting her face and blood staining the sheets.

"He needs to be born today" Addison declared as she began leading the gurney out of the room and down to the O.R..

"It will be okay" Meredith reassured Marlene as she ran beside the gurney. "Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd will be right there to deliver your son. It's all going to be okay."

But part of Meredith questioned if it would be. This sudden labor and heavy bleeding all confirmed her diagnosis. She hoped Addison would see this and take the necessary precautions. 

Meredith scrubbed-in in record time. She stood beside Addison as they waited for the anesthesiologist to give them the go ahead. Marlene's husband sat beside her, holding her hand and whispering reassuring things to her. "We are good to proceed, doctors," the anesthesiologist gave them a thumbs up.

"Okay, Marlene, here we go. I am going to make the incision now" Addison informed Marlene. She stretched her hand out and demanded a scalpel. Meredith watched every move Addison made and mentally took notes. It was only her fourth c-section that she watched and it was still amazing every time a doctor reached their hands in and gently pulled out the tiny human. "Congratulations, Marlene! You have a beautiful little boy" Addison congratulated as she handed the baby to a nurse. The tiny screams of the baby filled the O.R. as Addison began to prepare to deliver the placenta. "More suction" Addison demanded of Meredith. But as fast as Meredith could suction, more blood filled the surgical field.

"Remember what I said about placenta accreta? That could be causing the bleeding" Meredith ventured as she continued to suction.

"No, Dr. Grey" Addison continued stubbornly. "I have seen this before, it's just some extra blood." Meredith looked back into the red surgical field. Even as an intern, Meredith knew that the amount of blood she was seeing was not normal.

"There is too much blood" Meredith countered, looking up to meet Addison's eyes.

"What's going on?" Marlene asked, her voice frantic. Her fear increased her blood pressure and pulse which led to more blood.

"Take a deep breath, Marlene. Everything is fine" Addison reassured her. "Hang a bag of O- please."

"No, everything's not fine" Meredith insisted. "This is not fine." Addison stared Meredith down, her eyes fiery behind the mask. "Somebody take Mr. Carmichael and his son out of here" Meredith ordered to the O.R., her voice cold and commanding. A nurse went to Mr. Carmichael and led him out of the room.

"What is happening?" he shouted as the nurse hurried him through the door. "Marlene!"

"Why are kicking him out? Dr. Grey?" Marlene's voice was soft but frantic. "I don't feel so good."

"She's coding" the anesthesiologist yelled.

"Someone start compressions, we have to stop the bleeding" Meredith stated, her surgical roots showing. She had heard her mother say the exact same thing on countless surgeries. "Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd, we have to do a hysterectomy."

"Dr. Grey, you are overreacting. I am the attending here. We need to control the bleeding" Addison's voice was stubbornly stern. "If you can't take listen to your superiors then get out."

"If you can't see what is happening to your patient then you leave and get me an attending who will save this woman's life" Meredith continued to stop the bleeding, still hesitant to begin a hysterectomy.

"We have no heartbeat" the nurse who was continuing compressions said.

"I already pushed some epinephrine and there was no reaction" the anesthesiologist informed.

"Grab the paddles," Meredith ordered, stepping to Marlene's chest. "Charge 200. Clear." The line remained flat. "Charge 300. Clear." Again, there was nothing. "Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd?" Meredith asked, hoping that Addison would suddenly remember she was a doctor and save this woman's life.

"Time of death, 11:38 a.m.." Addison spit, throwing her mask on the ground as she stormed into the scrub room. 

The woman had bled out on the table and Meredith tried to stop it. But there was nothing she could do now. As the O.R. staff moved around her, Meredith looked back down at Marlene. She suctioned the remaining blood which cleared the area and revealed what Meredith had been guessing the whole day. The placenta had grown into the walls of the uterus, placenta accreta. Shaking her head, Meredith began to carefully suture the incisions they made. For the next half hour, Meredith sewed up the woman she had helped kill. There were so many ways she could have been better, so many ways she could have prevented this and so many ways she could have saved a life. If only she had stood up to Addison. If only…

Meredith had finished scrubbing out when she was paged to the Chief's office. Now she was sitting across from him with Addison next to her. He had asked both of them for a play by play from their point of view of the surgery. "What happened in that O.R. can never happen again. Do you hear me? Addison, you know better. You are a world class surgeon, the best surgeon in your field. You do not make these mistakes. What were you thinking? I know Dr. Grey is just an intern but she is fresh out of med school. These things are fresh in her mind. She had a feeling and she tried to convince you of it, but you, her teacher, didn't listen. And for that, Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd, you are suspended for a month. This behavior will not fly in my hospital. If you cannot teach an intern, you cannot work here. And I don't want to see you go so you better clean up your act.

"And Dr. Grey, let this be a lesson to you. When you have made every attempt to get a diagnosis across, and your superior is not listening to you, you have to go higher. Find someone who will listen to you. Speaking up could have potentially saved a life today. You are no longer working with Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd. Instead I am moving you to Neuro. Perhaps Dr. Shepherd will prove to be a better teacher and put his personal life aside." The Chief dismissed them with a wave of his hand. Addison was quick on Meredith's heels as they left the room and was soon berating her for her actions.

"You got me suspended, are you finally happy? God, Meredith, what more do you want from me? You stole my husband, are now sleeping with Mark and now you are taking away my job. What's next, huh? Are you going to take my patients? My speciality?" Addison yelled.

"Your husband left when you did. I know it wasn't a happy time for you, but you slept with Mark and Derek left you. I didn't mean to take Derek, okay? He never told me about you or that he was married. I had no idea," Meredith's frustration boiling over. "And Mark came to find you, to find his true love but you chose Derek. You left Mark. I don't take them, you leave them." Meredith stormed away before turning back to face Addison one last time, "And I sure as hell don't want your job. I wish more than anything that what happened today could have been changed." Meredith left Addison speechless as she sped away.

Later that night, Mark held Meredith tightly in his arms. After work, she let him take her home and let him carry her to her bed. She was emotionally drained after the day. It wasn't the first patient she had lost but definitely the hardest since she could have prevented it. Plus her interaction with Addison had left her weak. "Mer, there was nothing you could have done" Mark pushed a loose hair behind her ear. "Even if Addison had known, the hemorrhaging could have happened anyways. Anyways, I heard that you owned the O.R. today."

"I guess I did," Meredith gave a small smile.

"The nurses were all over it. They said you stood up to Addison like nobody's business and you ran the code" Mark kissed her head. "I'm proud of you."

"Thank you" Meredith mumbled.

"And it's unbelievably sexy" Mark said quietly in her ear. Meredith giggled.

"Oh yeah?" Meredith purred, her hands sliding down his body. "Do I need to own this O.R.?"

In response, Mark flipped her onto her back with his body coming with her. He kissed her passionately. The kisses, as usual, became heated as their desire grew. "Are you sure this time, Mer? I want you to be absolutely sure before we keep going" Mark looked down at her, his eyes filled with concern, no doubt remembering what had happened last time. Meredith smiled.

"I am one hundred percent sure, Mark. I want nobody but you" she whispered as she pulled him to her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Again I am trying some more medical content so if I get it wrong, I apologize!**

* * *

Meredith woke with contentment. She was wrapped haphazardly in her sheets, her naked body cuddled against Mark's. A smile flitted to her lips as she remembered the bliss of last night. It had all felt so right and was intensely passionate.

Their perfect bubble was burst as the alarm clock beeped incessantly. Mark groaned as his arms tightened around Meredith. "Let's stay here" he murmured, still groggy from sleep.

"I would love to," Meredith agreed. They were still in the perfect morning for five minutes. Then the alarm rang again. With a groan Meredith rolled out of bed, slipping on the shirt that lay haphazardly on the floor. She turned with a smile, looking down at the perfect man in her bed.

"What?" he asked, still wiping the sleep from his eyes. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I was just thinking that I need to shower" Meredith trailed off, taking a step towards the door. "And you need to shower" she took another step. "And I am trying to save the earth and conserve water" and another step.

"You can stop right there" Mark sat up, a sparkle in his eyes as he rolled out of bed. He went immediately to Meredith and picked her up in his arms. "Let's be eco-friendly together" he proclaimed, carrying her into the bathroom. 

"Hello Dr. Sloan" Meredith said politely as she approached the nurses station. Mark turned to look at her and gave her a sly grin. Meredith reached down to grab a chart but she could still feel Mark's eyes on her. She glanced at him only to find him staring at her intently "Stop looking at me like that"

"Like what? How am I looking at you" Mark asked with a wink.

"Like you have seen me naked" Meredith whispered in his ear as she walked away. She looked over her shoulder and saw Mark's gaze trained solely on her butt. She laughed to herself and continued down the hall.

She was still lost in her Mark filled thoughts as she rounded the corner and bumped right into someone. The scans they were holding hit the floor as did Meredith's chart. "I am so sorry" she hurriedly said, bending down to grab the fallen work as did the person she bumped into.

"I should have been looking where I was going" the deep voice replied with kindness and Meredith stiffened. She would recognize that voice anywhere. Looking up to confirm, she found herself staring right into the dreamy eyes of Derek. She swore under her breath as she grabbed the chart. "Or maybe you should have been looking" his voice turned cold and sharp.

"Perhaps we both should have" Meredith said curtly, hoping to keep all emotion out of her voice. "I am on your service today."

"I know" Derek nodded, starting to walk do the nurses station. Luckily for Meredith, Mark had already gone. It would have made the morning worse if Mark was in Derek's warpath. "We have no surgeries for the day. And I am looking in on all my patients and doing all consults" Derek's voice was monotone.  
"And I am?" Meredith asked quietly, not daring to raise her voice much more.

"Getting me coffee and a donut" Derek ordered. "I suppose you know the order"

"Unfortunately, I do" Meredith huffed before storming away. She hated in that moment their history. He was using his position to take advantage of her. Meredith sighed as she got on the elevator. She had to admit that a much as she wanted to take back her time with Derek, it was a time in which she learned about relationships and without Derek, she likely would not have met Mark. And it would be the greatest tragedy of her life if Meredith had not met Mark. Even though she was not ready to move into something more serious and binding, Meredith could not bear to think of breaking up with Mark, let alone not living the rest of her life with him. Maybe that was just the amount of readiness she needed.

"Hey Mer" Alex said as Meredith got in line behind him at the coffee cart. "Getting yourself some breakfast, I heard you might need the extra energy. Izzie said you had a lively night."

"Shut up, Alex" Meredith gently smacked his arm. "No, I am here for Dr. Shepherd. Apparently I am only good enough to remember his coffee and donut order."

"Don't let it get you down," Alex suggested. "Sloan has me getting his coffee too."

"I wish I could trade" Meredith lamented.

"No chance in hell," Alex narrowed his eyes. Meredith laughed as he stepped up to get the coffee. When they both had their bosses orders, they walked off towards the elevator cracking jokes about being interns.

"I think Derek can wait, I am going to say hi to Mark" Meredith stated as she got off the elevator with Alex.  
"Fine," Alex huffed. "Just remember he's mine and just because you slept with him doesn't mean you automatically get dibs."

"Yeah, but I do have influence" Meredith grinned spotting Mark. "Hi" she said as she approached.  
"Hey," Mark's smile grew, his eyes lighting up at the sight of her. "Did you bring me coffee?"

"No, that should be your job. Not the intern's" Meredith raised an eyebrow. "We are not here to be you personal assistant so teach Alex something, okay?"

"Okay" Mark replied with a wink before leaning in close. "Only if I can teach you something tonight."

"I am a good student" Meredith giggled before walking away to find Derek. As she left she heard Mark tell Alex to grab a suture kit. It was good to know she had power.

"Dr. Grey, it took you long enough" Derek muttered as he took a sip of his coffee.

"Sorry" Meredith said, with no sympathy in her voice. "Long line, slow elevator."

"And a visit to Mark" Derek accused. "That must have been why the elevator was slow."

"Not that it is any of your business but I did see Mark, as I was on my way back here" Meredith fumed. It was still unbelievable the Derek was chastising her for being with Mark. "We are together now and it's not like I never went out of my way to see you."

"We were different" Derek attempted to say.

"Really?" Meredith asked. "Because you were an attending and I was an intern. Oh wait, Mark is an attending and I am still an intern. Please, let me go."

"Let you go?" Derek ask incredulously. "You think I can just let you go?"

"I do think that Derek, since you were so willing to jump right into Addison's arms" Meredith shot back.

"We are married," Derek ran a hand through his limp hair. Meredith then noticed how tired he looked, the bags under his eyes, the stubble, the unstyled hair.

"And we were in love" Meredith stated before turning and leaving sharply, tears stinging her eyes. She willed herself not to cry until she got to a supply closet where she sank to the floor. She wished it were easy enough to let go but deep down she herself was still working on it. And the thought of that made her heart hurt because to her it meant she wasn't being entirely true to Mark. As much as Meredith wanted to admit to loving Mark, she was also reluctant to admit that a part of her, despite being shattered, was in love with Derek Shepherd. 

Meredith spent the rest of the day in the skills lab, practicing anything and everything. She could get a chest tube in perfectly and could stitch up lacerations in minutes. Cristina had tried to talk to her but Meredith refused to speak to anyone. Instead she poured her confused emotions into the beautiful stitches in front of her. Her meditative state was broken when her pager beeped loudly into the void. Meredith jumped at the sudden noise, her mind so used to the silence it was startling to hear anything but the sound of her breath and the thread being used in the stitches.

Reaching into her pocket, Meredith pulled out the pager and read the 9-1-1 page from the E.R.. Dropping the needle, Meredith set out on a sprint to the emergency room, anxious to find out what would be awaiting her. When she finally arrived, the paramedics were already rolling in their patients. "Multiple lacerations to the abdomen and chest. Stab wound to the face and head" the paramedic called as Meredith ran up to her, still tying on the trauma gown.

"I'll take him to trauma 2" Meredith stated, grabbing hold of the stretcher. Alex was there at her side, helping wheel him in. "Alex, he's mine" Meredith growled. "It's neuro."

"It's a big enough case that we will both be needed. And so will plastics" Alex stated. "Someone page Neuro and Plastics" he called.

Nurses filled the trauma room as Meredith and Alex did the preliminary work. Their patient was unconscious as a knife had went into his skull, through the forehead and nose. "Where is Dr. Shepherd?" Meredith called as she realized there could be serious brain damage. She was unable to tell if the knife disturbed any brain tissue and didn't dare to touch it. Instead, as his vitals were being taken Meredith helped Alex do a thorough physical exam, noting every other laceration.

"Man, this guy got it rough. Do we have a story?" Alex asked, placing gauze on a deep cut to the thigh.

"Bar fight" the paramedic stated, looking up from her paperwork. "The other guy is being brought in by the police."

"Any ID?" Meredith asked, checking his pupils.

"Jack Carson, age 25" the paramedic nodded to the wallet sitting on the counter. "It's all we got about him." A nurse ran to the wallet, immediately taking note of the height and weight.

"Let's try to find his family," Meredith ordered, a nurse running out of the room as Mark entered. "Finally. It's about time an attending showed up," Meredith said quietly.

"Well, this is going to be a long night," Mark sighed, stretching gloves on. "Have you paged Neuro?"

"Yes" Alex answered. "Someone page him again." Mark set to work examining just as Meredith and Alex did. He got to the knife and paused.

"Bring in the portable x-ray" he called. "What the hell happened?"

"Bar fight, apparently" Meredith answered. "His pupils were nonreactive but vitals are okay. He's been unconscious the whole time. We set him up with a unit of O- and fluids. A tox-screen has been ordered and we are waiting for results."

"Good work, Meredith. You did everything you were supposed to but where is Derek?" Mark said, a slight edge in his voice.

"We paged him twice now" a nurse answered. "We will page him again."

"Is there anyone else to page?" Meredith asked, hope creeping into her voice. She would hate to have to work with Mark and Derek together.

"No, he is the Neuro consult on-call tonight" the nurse replied, with a disappointed look. "We will work on finding him."

Mark ran the rest of the trauma with Alex and Meredith. They cleaned the existing wounds and began the process of suturing him. Meredith was unbelievably grateful for the hours in the skills lab that day. Her stitches were flawless and she was moving through them with ease. Even Mark stopped to look over her work. He was pleasantly surprised at her skill and couldn't help but smile as she focused. Mark loved watching her work, seeing the focus and care etched into her face. She was destined for greatness and there was no other place in the world where she belonged but right here in a hospital. At the looks of her stitches, Mark would have to make sure she didn't take his job.

The tox-screen came back with the presence of alcohol but everything else normal. In response, Meredith hung a bag of IV fluids to help flush the alcohol from his system. Mark had take the x-ray's and was waiting for the radiologist to help in read it. He was sure that there was brain damage but considering the stability of the patient, Mark was stuck. Without a neurologist there, it was hard to tell and they didn't want to risk moving him yet to get a CT. "Looks like the knife is sticking into the place where a frontal lobe would be," the radiologist shook his head. "This man needs Derek Shepherd."

"If only we could find him," Mark muttered. Suddenly, Derek burst into the room. He was pale and his hair messy. Meredith could tell he didn't look good.

"What's the case?" Derek squinted.

"Are you okay?" Meredith asked, concerned.

"You aren't my girlfriend, Dr. Grey. I am fine" Derek replied taking a look at the x-ray. "Let's bring him up to surgery. We have to operate." The doctors began to prep the patient, and as they were wheeling him out, Derek blocked Meredith from exiting. "You are not coming."

"Why not? He's my patient" Meredith put her hands on her hips.

"You're my intern and I say no surgery" Derek yelled and turned to follow his patient up to surgery. Meredith gave a huff in frustration, tearing the trauma gown off of her. Suddenly she got the smell of scotch. Strange that she never smelled it before Derek...Was Derek drinking? No. Meredith shook her head. She knew he was an ass but he was still a good surgeon who knew right from wrong. He wouldn't drink while on-call. She could at least believe in that. The smell must have been from the patient, he was pretty drunk anyways. Walking to the nurses station, she saw Izzie.

"Hey, Meredith" Izzie said with a smile. "Shouldn't you be in surgery with your patient? Knife to the brain sounds interesting."

"Derek kicked me off the case" Meredith sighed. "What about you?"  
"Heading up right now. The attacked has massive internal bleeding from being thrown into the bar. I am scrubbing in with Bailey and the Chief!" Izzie was bouncing with excitement.

"Have fun" Meredith replied lamely as Izzie skipped off to the O.R.. 

Meredith spent the next two hours in the E.R., doing basic exams and some sutures. She was waiting anxiously for Mark. All she wanted to do was to fall into bed with him, despite her confused heart. Derek's behavior of the night only made her want to be with Mark more.  
Finally, she looked up to see Mark walk in. Something was off in his step. His smile didn't reach his eyes when he saw her. "What's wrong?" Meredith asked, anxiously looking up into his forlorn eyes.

"The patient didn't make it" Mark said softly. Meredith wrapped her arms around him, pulling him to her smaller frame. "I could have saved him."

"I am sure it was out of your control, it is hard with a brain injury" Meredith tried to reassure him.

"No," Mark said pulling away. "Derek messed up. He pulled the knife out without thinking and caused herniation. There was nothing we could have done but…"

"But?" Meredith questioned, tension filling the space.

"But Derek was drinking. I know it" Mark said.

"Drinking?" the Chief's voice rang out being Mark. "Who exactly was drinking, Dr. Sloan? Because Derek Shepherd came to me and said your intoxicated mistakes led to the death of a young man tonight."

"Chief, I am completely sober. I believe it was Derek who you should be interrogating" Mark replied coldly but confidently.

"It isn't Mark," Meredith replied. "I knew I smelled scotch earlier. I swore it was the patient but I guess not."

"Meredith, get better at speaking up! You have a voice so use it" the Chief scolded. "Tomorrow morning, I expect full reports on my desk from each of you. I will get to the bottom of this."

Mark drove Meredith home in silence. They both were consumed by their own thoughts as they pulled into the driveway of Meredith's home. Without a word they both went to bed, wrapped in each other's arms and cloaked in a heavy silence in which they dreaded the drama as they each could be held accountable.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Alright, we are picking up the drama here! It just never seems to end for poor Meredith. Review and enjoy :)**

* * *

Meredith sat outside the chief's office with Derek and Mark. Alex was in there right now being interrogated about last night. Shifting nervously in her chair, Meredith ran through everything that had happened. Was she sure she smelt scotch on Derek? Or was it her furious imagination or even the patient being moved again? Mark grabbed her hand and squeezed tight, giving her a reassuring look. "You know what you know" he whispered, leaning in close to kiss the side of her head. "It will be okay."

Suddenly the door opened as Alex slipped out, his face hard to read. "Dr. Sloan, please" Chief ordered, a glare permanently hardened on his face. Meredith gave his hand one last squeeze before letting Mark go, leaving Meredith to sit with Alex and Derek. Derek sighed before putting his head in his hands. Meredith rolled her eyes before looking to Alex.

"How did it go?" She asked him quietly.

"Fine" Alex said, an edge in his voice. "The two of you have made so much freaking drama in the place, it's a wonder you are still employed." He shook his head.

"I'm sorry you have gotten pulled into all this," Meredith tried to make him feel better. "I never wanted any of this to happen."

"Then maybe you shouldn't have been sleeping around, you wh-" Derek mumbled.

"Excuse me?" Meredith interrupted him. "Are you saying that I am a whore? Because you have no right to call me that."

"Enough" Alex raised his voice. "This has gone on long enough. Just drop it."

And silence filled the small hallway. Meredith leaned her head back in exasperation as she waited her turn. Eventually the door opened again and Mark was walking out, a sad smile on his face. "Dr. Grey," Chief beckoned her into his office. She squared her shoulders as she walked with false confidence into the office. Meredith sat in the chair across from the Chief, just as she had done a few days ago with Addison. "Dr. Grey, I have seen you in here too much this week. That doesn't look good for you."

"I am aware, Chief. I would like to request that I not work with Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd or Dr. Shepherd again for awhile. I believe that the severity of our personal lives are impacting the ability for all of us to create a healthy teaching environment. I also would like to apologize for my lack of speaking up," Meredith remained composed as she seriously looked into the hard gaze of the Chief.

"It is hard for me to continue teaching a surgeon who won't take charge and have a voice-"

"Surely, sir, you can remember being an intern" Meredith interrupted, her false confidence turning into a reality. "We are the lowest on the food chain and one bad move will get us fed to the wolves. One mistake can make life a living hell or destroy a life. It's hard and I accept that. So could you remember what it was like to be new and just beginning to understand this complicated and crazy world?" Meredith's words hung in the air. The Chief's face softened as he stared at her.

"I do remember" he said quietly. "I remember how difficult it was. I remember your mother being strong though. She also spoke up."

"Sir," Meredith's voice remained strong. "Please do not compare me to my mother. I may be her daughter and resemble her in many ways including our stubbornness and our talents but I am still my own person. I am not Ellis Grey, I am Meredith Grey. And last night Dr. Shepherd was repeatedly not answering pages, arrived aggravated and after snapping at me, banned me from the surgery. As he left the room I caught the smell of scotch but believing in the morality I know Derek has somewhere within him, I thought it was left over from the patient, who was for sure intoxicated. After hearing what Dr. Sloan had to say about the surgery, it leads me to believe that Derek Shepherd is responsible for the fatality last night. Is there anything else you need from me?"

"No," the Chief gave a proud smile. "Meredith Grey, thank you for you honesty and for speaking confidently." He stood and went to the door. "Have a seat as I speak with Dr. Shepherd."

Meredith moved to the chair next to Mark, flashing him a smile. The door shut behind Derek with a slam. "How did it go?" Mark asked, concern filling his eyes.

"Just fine" Meredith grinned. "I told him everything that I knew." 

"That's bullshit, Chief" Derek's voice was heard even in the hallway. The door flew open as Derek stormed out and towards the catwalk above the rest of the hospital. An exhausted looking Chief appeared in the door shortly after and addressed Alex, Mark and Meredith.

"Dr. Shepherd is at fault for the death of Jack Carson, he had been revoked of all surgical privileges for the next month. You are all off the hook, but do not let it happen again. Go back to work." And the Chief disappeared back in his office. Alex shot up and was out of there like a flash. Mark gently kissed Meredith before his pager went off.

"I have to run. It's a patient" he explained.

"Go" Meredith assured him, giving his hand a gentle squeeze before Mark pulled away to run off towards his patients. Meredith took a calming deep breath before making her way to find Bailey and get a new assignment.

On the catwalk she saw a frantic Addison arguing with a furious Derek. "Please, Derek. I am your wife. Talk to me" she pleaded as Meredith walked by.

"I don't have surgical privileges for a month, okay?" Derek slammed his hand on the railing next to him. "Meredith!" He called to her. Fear coursed through her as she prepared for the next slew of accusing comments from him. Instead of answering she kept walking, hoping he would drop it.

"Keep walking," she whispered to herself.

"Are you ignoring me now, you adulterous whore?" Derek yelled. Now this stopped her in her tracks. She turned slowly, trying not to let his statement get to her. "Why are you screwing my best friend?" he yelled again, causing heads to turn their direction.

"Derek, quiet. You are bringing attention to yourself" Addison pleaded placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Shut up, you know you are no better that she is. You also screwed my best friend. In my bedroom. In MY house!" Derek continued to yell.

"Derek, just calm down. You are creating too much attention" Addison pleaded again.

"Oh and you don't like attention? You were the one who strutted in here like the bitch that you are and ruined a perfectly good relationship."

"Derek! Stop" Meredith crossed to him, her confidence regained. "You do not get to go around calling us names. I am not a whore. I was a girl in a bar who fell in love with you. And you broke that. You didn't tell me you were married. You broke my heart. And now I am trying to repair what you broke. I am trying to move on after losing the man I thought was my true love. And it so happens that I am with Mark Sloan. I am not just screwing him, I am in love with him."

Derek narrowed his eyes. "I am sure you love a man whore" he cruelly spit out the words.

"He is no man whore. He is a better man than you any day. You ruin relationships and break hearts leaving the kind and generous Mark to try and soothe those wounds. Do you know why he and Addison had an affair? Because he loved her. He loved her from the start but you took her, you loved her and then dropped her. You do not get to call her a bitch. She is trying to save a marriage. You do not get to call me a whore and you sure as hell do not get to call Mark a man whore.

"This is not one sided, Derek Shepherd. We are all flawed. So be a grown up. Stop acting like a child, both of you. I am done with your drama and your inability to realize that I am not the only one to be mad at. Now two lives have been lost from your misdirected anger and I am not about to let more be lost. We are surgeons. We save lives, not destroy them."

And with that, Meredith whipped around and left, feeling relieved to get that off her chest.

Then it hit her. She admitted she was in love with Mark. 

After the scene on the catwalk, Meredith stayed low. She asked for more time in the skills lab from Bailey who reluctantly gave it to her. Now she realized her shift was over, she was supposed to go meet Mark. They had plans to go out for a drink before going to her house. Sitting with a sigh, Meredith stared at the clock in front of her. She sat watching the seconds tick by, so certain and sure. "Meredith?" Cristina's hesitant voice came from the door behind her. "What's going on?"

"Nothing" Meredith said quietly. Cristina came into her vision and leaned against the table, an eyebrow raised.

"You have locked yourself in here for the past two days," Cristina stated. "You lost two patients after working with McAss and his McWife. And I have heard your name whispered by nurses all day long." Meredith crossed her arms and gave Cristina a disapproving look. "Mer, are you upset over the patients?"

"Yes...no. Yes" Meredith stuttered.

"Well, of course you are upset, but that's not what this is about" Cristina analyzed. "Is it what happened with Derek today?"

"Kinda" Meredith admitted.

"Is it Mark?" Cristina asked. Meredith just nodded her head. "Oh come on, you are with him now. He's hot, the sex has to be hot. What's wrong?"

"I think I am in love with him" Meredith finally admitted, exasperated. "Here I was enjoying our relationship and then this morning as I was yelling at Derek, it just came out. All of sudden I said I was in love with him."

"Okay, big deal. You love him. He's a great guy" Cristina shrugged her shoulders.

"But…" Meredith began.

"Derek broke your heart. And Mark is rebuilding it. Or some sort of sentimental crap like that. There is no hope for you and McDreamy so move on. Isn't that what you have been telling Derek this whole time? To let go and move on."

Meredith was silent. She stared at Cristina and realized she was right. All this time Meredith was begging Derek to let her go when Meredith was also struggling to let him go. If she was in love with Mark, then she should be fully involved with him. She should try it.

"Thank you. I have to go" Meredith grabbed her lab coat and was on her way to go meet Mark. She raced through the hallways to go find him, to go home with him and to live a life with him.

Then she was stopped dead in her tracks.  
Through the window of an exam room she saw a crying woman being held in the arms of tall, handsome man. It was Mark. He held this woman in his strong arms, gently rubbing her scrub topped back. The woman shifted so the red of her hair was visible. It was Addison.

Why was Addison being held by Mark?

Why was he whispering things in her ear?

Meredith stood frozen in that spot as she watched the two. She couldn't hear what was being said between them but she could see the despair on Addison's face and the concern in Mark's. Hurt flooded her heart as she saw Mark look down at Addison, as she looked up to him and touched her lips to his. He didn't pull away. Mark kissed her back, pulling Addison to him. 

Meredith ran.

She ran down the hall.

She ran to the E.R. where are trauma was being wheeled in, the perfect distraction."I need an intern," the doctor yelled. Meredith ran to her side. "What's your name?"

"Grey. Meredith Grey" Meredith helped wheel the gurney into the trauma room.

"Callie Torres" the woman replied. "I'm the new ortho resident. Have you been on an ortho rotation before?"

"No, but I am a quick learner" Meredith reassured her.

"Good, you need to be ready to work hard" Callie took his leg. "Severe crushing in the right tib/fib. We need a portable x-ray in here stat." The two worked around the patient, stabilizing her and cleaning what wounds they could. After looking at the scan, Callie ordered an O.R. be ready for her. They would be inserting a rod into her lower leg and repairing the breaks in her femurs. "Ready for a long night, Grey?" Callie asked as they began to wheel the unconscious patient towards surgery.

"Yes" Meredith answered, ready to get engrossed into a long complicated surgery to take her mind off the kiss. "I need it," she said, taking her phone out of her pocket and turning it off. She saw a text from Mark asking where she was but she ignored it.

"Ignoring someone?" Callie asked, eyeing the phone.

"I suppose you could call it that" Meredith replied. Callie let out a small laugh.

"Save those emotions, Grey. You will need that in the O.R." Callie said with a smile. 

Meredith rocked her surgery with Callie. They repaired the breaks and inserted the rods flawlessly. Meredith was starting to really like Callie and her badass attitude. Callie had told Meredith to feel confident in all her choices and whatever she saw with Mark and Addison, it was something she had to talk to Mark about. Now Meredith was on her way home. It was almost two o'clock in the morning and she was getting tired. The high of surgery was slowly wearing off and the draining day was getting to her. She changed quickly into her regular clothes, ready to get home and into bed before her next shift started. Driving home, Meredith tried to not think of the kiss. Then she pulled into her driveway only to find Mark sitting on her front steps. "Mark, what are you doing here?" Meredith asked, getting out of her car.

"Why were you ignoring me?" Mark looked up at her, his eyes tired as they met hers.

"Why did you kiss Addison?" Meredith countered, crossing her arms. He sighed, shaking his head.

"It was a mistake, Mer" Mark put his head in his hands. "I thought I wanted it but then when she kissed me all I could think of was that it wasn't you. Her lips…"

"I don't want to hear about her lips" Meredith stated, anger rising in her again. "Why were you with her in the first place?"

"She was upset over Derek's suspension and their marriage failing. She came to me because she knew she could count on me. I am her friend."

"If you want her, go ahead and be with her" Meredith stated, tiredness blinding her rationality.

"I don't want her. I want you but not if you are going to ignore me all night. You can't just disappear, Mer" Mark stood up, running his hand through his hair.

"I was in the O.R. Mark. I am not going to sacrifice my learning and my career to answer to you. You were busy with Addison so I went and was busy with surgery. I had a successful procedure and no patient died."

"I am not asking you to sacrifice anything, but just a short text saying what's going on would be nice. I was sitting here for hours waiting for you!"

"I never asked you to wait for me" Meredith said angrily. "You could have gone to your hotel room. I was in surgery. I don't want you to be staying up all night waiting for me and then getting angry at me for doing so!"

"We had plans Meredith" Mark raised his voice. "You broke our plans."

"Somehow I feel like this has nothing to do with us not getting a drink tonight" Meredith stated with resolve. Her tolerance to fight was low, all she wanted was to get to bed. "I don't have the attendings luxury of starting my day later. I have to be at the hospital at six and then be there all day. I can't keep fighting with you."

"Don't bring our positions into this," Mark crossed his arms, his eyebrows furrowed with anger.

"I am not" Meredith replied. "I just want to go to bed. We can talk about this tomorrow."

"Fine" Mark moved to open the door.

"What are you doing?" Meredith asked as he started to enter her house. "You are not sleeping here tonight."

"So you are going to kick me out? It's the middle of the night!"

"And it's my house. I don't want to sleep with you tonight, Mark. I don't want to go to bed with you angry" Meredith tried to explain.

"Then don't go to bed with me at all," Mark huffed, turning to the driveway. He threw open his car door, slammed it shut and then sped away, leaving Meredith on the front steps.

"What did I just do?" Meredith asked herself as tears blurred her vision


	11. Chapter 11

Meredith rubbed her eyes as she leaned over the scrub sink. Callie had requested her for the day and Meredith was happy to comply. After her fight with Mark, Meredith's sleep was restless. Morning had come all too early for her and it turned out the Ortho rotation took it out of her. The constant pulling to relocate joints and constant setting of bones had Meredith exhausted and it was just barely after lunch. "Someone's tired" Callie commented as she entered the scrub room, glancing at Meredith as she rubbed her eyes.

"I didn't sleep very well for the little that I got" Meredith admitted as she stifled a yawn and began to wash her hands.

"Don't worry, I have the cure" Callie grinned as she too began the process of scrubbing in.

"An IV bag full of caffeine?" Meredith asked, wishing she had gotten another coffee before the surgery.

"An ortho high" Callie said, drying her hands.

"Is that some kind of drug?' Meredith laughed as she tied on her mask.

"Nope," Callie slipped her surgical gown on and began tying her own mask. "It's a purely natural side effect of orthopedic surgeries. Just wait." Meredith finished scrubbing in and followed Callie into the O.R.. Their patient had a broken femur and based on the x-ray, she had a previous break. "See how the previous break didn't heal correctly? It was set wrong so in order to fix it we need to re-break it."

"Wait, break it again?" Meredith asked, staring down at the arm as Callie carefully cut through the tissue and muscle in order to expose the bone. "Doesn't that do more harm than good?"

"To be realigned correctly, it needs to be broken again. It will make her leg feel better too and prevent further complications. Are you angry, Meredith?"

"Angry?" Meredith asked again. As a matter of fact, Meredith was furious. She was still upset with Derek and now Mark. This morning she tried to call him but he wouldn't pick up. And then she saw him but he refused to talk to her. He said he was done.

"You will need to channel it into this procedure" Callie explained as she got the instruments ready. The white shining of bone gleamed under the surgical lights. "Here" she said, handing Meredith a surgical hammer. "You get to break it." Meredith stared at the bone again. She could clearly see the old break and the weird formation that resulted from it. Tightening her grip on the hammer, Meredith swung it down onto the chisel, fueling all her hurt and anger into the swing. The bone broke smoothly with a crack and a pop. "Well, Grey, I would hate to be the one to piss you off because that was incredible" Callie looked up to Meredith. Meredith set aside the hammer to look at the broken bone in front of her. She did feel better, after swinging out all of the emotions.

They continued the surgery by placing screws in the previous break to realign it correctly. "So who did make you so upset?" Callie asked suddenly. "It's not everyday that a person can just break a bone in one hit."

"My old boyfriend, who I was in love with, turned out to be married and I found that out when his wife showed up here to tell me. Then I met his best friend, who I also fell in love with. Then just last night I caught him and the wife kissing. We fought and now it's over" Meredith gave Callie the condensed version of her past.

"It sounds like you need a drink" Callie said, a hint of sympathy in her voice. "Want to go out to Joe's after this?"

"That would be great," Meredith replied, her smile hidden under her mask. It felt good to have friend who knew less than Cristina but was still ready to help her drink away her problems. The more she worked with Callie, the more she liked her and ortho. Callie was right, this surgery was doing her good.

Still on the high of surgery and anxious to get a drink, Meredith and Callie sat at Joe's talking and laughing. "Tequila please" Meredith ordered. "God, I really needed this. It's been a long couple of days."

"Tell me about it," Callie agreed. "Being new here isn't a cakewalk."

"Even after working here for a while, it isn't easy," Meredith laughed. "Everyone sucks." She grabbed her drink and took a big sip.  
"There is this one intern, blonde hair, tall, beautiful," Callie took a sip. "She stares at me all the time."

"You mean Izzie Stevens?" Meredith giggled.

"Yes, that's her. I think she hates me because I was talking to O'Malley the other day" Callie rolled her eyes. "Are her and George a thing? Because that would be awkward."

"No, they are just really close" Meredith finished her drink, ordering another one. "Izzie is very judgmental sometimes but she can bake. Oh man can she bake." Callie also ordered another round. Meredith felt herself start to relax as the alcohol kicked in. Having a person to talk to tonight was all that Meredith could have asked for. Normally she would be out with Cristina but even Cristina knew too much about the situation. She wanted it to feel a little impersonal, and a little more anonymity to herself. And Callie was able to give her that.

"Is George single?" Callie blurted. Meredith almost spit out her drink as she laughed. "What? Am I stupid to ask that question? Oh my god."

"No… No," Meredith was laughing. "George is the most single man that I know."

"Oh good," Callie looked relieved as she finished another drink. "I have been flirting shamelessly with him for weeks and he still hasn't picked up on it."

"That's because he has been hung up on me forever," Meredith ordered another round. "But don't worry, he can be all yours. All yours."

Meredith lost count of how many drinks they had drank. She could feel all her worries start to disappear as she kept drinking and she was having a blast with Callie. "I should go home" Callie mumbled as she tried to stand up. "Oh, I am so drunk," she laughed. "You better call me a cab" she order the bartender with a small giggle. "I cannot drive whatsoever. We have surgery tomorrow, so be home soon. Hip replacement bright and early," Callie was saying as she wandered out of the bar.

Meredith watched her go with a pang of loneliness. Somewhere in her head Meredith knew she should go home and sleep. She knew that she would have a hangover in the morning. She also knew that soon she would start making some bad decisions and she would go home feeling much worse than before. But regardless, Meredith wanted to stay. One more drink wasn't going to do too much harm.

"One more please" Meredith asked. She stared at the wall as she waited for her drink, her reason starting to fall apart. When her tequila finally arrived, she stared into her blurry reflection and sighed.

"So you still drink tequila," his voice came from behind her. It was low and comforting to her drunken mind.

"And you still drink scotch," she replied, relaxing her shoulders. "Why are you here?"

"Same reason you are, drinking away the pain" Derek replied, his hand resting on her shoulder. His thumb started rubbing lazy circles along the hem of her shirt. "I am sorry Meredith."

"Are you?" Meredith took a hesitant sip of her drink. Derek leaned over, his chest resting along her back, his mouth right next to her ear. He set his drink down next to hers.

"Of course I am. I'm still in love you Mer" he whispered into her hair. And that was it. That was the moment her inhibitions started to fall away rapidly. His voice and his body touching hers was all she needed to lean back against him with a gentle hum. "Let's get out of here," his voice vibrating through her head. Meredith grabbed some cash out of her purse and threw it on the counter before jumping up. Her hand easily found it's way into his, their fingers locking like magnets. They leaned against each other as they ran out of the bar, Derek raising his hand to call a cab.

The yellow of the cab reflected the street lights as they drove through Seattle. Meredith had given her address as Derek moved closer to her, his fingers inching their way under her shirt. "I missed you, Meredith" he whispered, bringing his head closer to hers. Their noses touched and Meredith felt her world melt away. Nothing else mattered in that moment as her lips collided with his. It was slow at first, their lips remembering how they fit together. Then there was fire. His fingers grazing her bare stomach, her hands tangled in his long curls pulling him closer to her. The taste of tequila and scotch melded in their mouths as the kisses became longer and more heated. He was her safety net. "Derek," Meredith whispered, as he kissed along her jaw. "Why did you choose her?"

His kisses stopped abruptly as he rested his forehead on her shoulder. "I don't know," he murmured. "But I wish I didn't." The car pulled to a stop outside her house.

"Are you coming in?" she asked hesitantly.

"Do you want me to?" he asked hesitantly. She nodded placing a gentle kiss on his lips. He pulled some cash out of his pocket and passed to the driver as he pulled Meredith out of the cab, leading her out where they immediately crashed into each other. Their bodies melded together as they stumbled their way to the house. Derek pinned Meredith to the wall as he gave her earnest kisses that left her breathless. Eventually she broke away shortly to open the door. Their separation was short lived as Meredith pulled him to her by the lapels of his shirt.

Carefully they made their way up the stairs, giggling and kissing the whole way up.

"Meredith?" George's voice rang out from downstairs. "Mer, is that you?"

"Ignore him" Meredith said against Derek's lips, trying to tune him out. George's footsteps came closer and closer until he stood at the top of the stairs.

"Derek?" George questioned.  
"A little busy here, O'Malley" Derek said without looking at him.

"Wait, are you two together now?" George asked, his confusion evident. With a sigh, Meredith pulled her lips away from Derek's.

"George, go away. We're obviously in the middle of something" Meredith was exasperated. Leave it to George to ruin everything. She wanted this one night to go without thinking, just a night where she could feel okay for once.

"No. Meredith you… you just broke up with Mark and you can't turn back to him," George protested weakly. "He's married and you're...you're both drunk!"

"George, leave us alone. We're grown ups" Meredith waved him off, turning her attention back to Derek and his dreamy blue eyes while George sheepishly began making his way back downstairs. But halfway down he stopped, turning around and marching right back up to Meredith with newfound confidence.

"No, Meredith. I am your friend and friends are supposed to stop you from making bad decisions. And this is a bad decision" George stated.

"George…" Meredith began but was quickly interrupted.

"No, listen to me. I watched your heart get broken by him before. And it wasn't easy to watch you so hurt. Now you have the perfect man with Mark. He is right for you, Mer. A relationship like that shouldn't get thrown away so easily," George confidently explained. "Why would you throw it away before you get a chance to rebuild it again? Why are you throwing it away with him? The man who has repeatedly humiliated you and called you nasty names? You know better than that."

Still unwilling to hear the truth Meredith gave George a look of annoyance. "I make my own choices" she muttered unhappily.

"Dr. Shepherd, I am afraid you have to leave now. You are too drunk to make any sane decisions" George pointed to the door.

"George, you can't kick him out of my house," Meredith complained, wrapping her arms tighter around Derek.

"I pay rent, I get a say. And I am completely sober. So Dr. Shepherd, let me drive you home. If you still want to be together in the morning, I won't get in the way. But let's go now," George said, a small amount of pleading in his voice. Reluctantly, Meredith gave Derek one last kiss before stepping back. She gestured to George, knowing that he was right even if she hated him for it.

"George, you ruin all the fun" Meredith pouted, arms crossed.

"You know how to really kill the mood" Derek mumbled as he began to slowly and clumsily make his was down the stairs. "Goodbye Meredith."

"Goodbye, Derek."

The alarm was far too loud that morning in Meredith's opinion. She hastily hit the snooze button as she slowly woke up. Already her head was pounding and her body was tired, protesting the idea of getting up. Laying in bed for five more minutes, Meredith tried to remember last night. She could remember being with Callie until she left. Then there was a man. "No" she groaned as she remembered kissing Derek. Why did she do that? What on earth was she thinking? The alarm went off once more and Meredith reluctantly sat up, rubbing her eyes carefully. With another groan she got up and headed to the shower where she let the cold water wake her up. Getting ready she tried to think how far she went with Derek. She knew there was kissing on the way home but after that… George was there. And he kicked Derek out.

After dressing, Meredith made her way downstairs to find George and Izzie in the kitchen. "Good morning, Miss Tequila" Izzie laughed. Meredith wince slightly at the noise, going straight to the ibuprofen on the counter and then to the coffee pot.

"George, did you kick Derek out of the house last night?" Meredith asked.

"Um... yes" George answered meekly.

"Did we...did we do anything more than kiss?" Meredith questioned.

"As far as I know, you didn't."

"Thank you," Meredith cleared her throat. "Thank you for getting rid of him. Even though I was pretty pissed at you last night." She gave George a thankful smile, knowing that if her and Derek had slept together it would make her life even worse.

Meredith was leaning against the sink, her eyes closed. She wished she hadn't drank as much last night as now all she wanted was to go back to sleep. Instead she was here, waiting for Callie so they could begin their surgery. "Late night, Grey?" Callie asked as she entered the scrub room. Meredith just nodded. "Me too," Callie agreed, beginning to wash her hands. Meredith followed suit as they quietly scrubbed in. They made their way to the patients and Callie began the procedure, Meredith helping as they cut down to the bone. "Do you think George would actually go out with me?" Callie asked as they worked. "Because I met a guy last night and if George is hopeless, this man probably isn't."

"He might take a little push but he would," Meredith answered, still focused on the exposed bone in front of her.

"So I should try to pursue that?" Callie was seeking advice.

"Why not?" Meredith smiled. "Tell me about this guy."

"Well," Callie began, a smile creeping under her mask. "I met him as I was walking out of Joe's. He talked to me as I waited for a cab then offered to take me back to his hotel room. And then we… you know." Meredith laughed, a slight blush dancing on her cheeks.

"What does he look like?" Meredith grinned, trying to get all the details.

"Tall, a little bit of gray in his hair. Well kept facial hair and the prettiest eyes ever. They are a gray blue color and oh, that smile that he can give you," Callie explained. Meredith's heart started to pound. The man Callie was describing sounded an awful lot like Mark. "He works here to. His name is…"

"Mark Sloan?" Meredith looked up at Callie, fear coursing through her.

"Yes," Callie was smiling as she stared aimlessly across the room, no doubt thinking of last night with Mark. "How did you know?"

"You slept with Mark Sloan?" Meredith asked again, her voice tight.

"Yes. What's wrong, Mer?" Callie's smile faded. Meredith felt anger rise within her as she tried to process the fact that her new friend had slept with Mark. "Oh my god. You know him," Callie realized, her happiness draining from her face.

"Know him? I was dating him! He was the one I was ignoring, the man that I think I love," Meredith explained defensively.

"Meredith, I'm sorry," Callie tried to apologize.

"Why? Callie, I thought you were my friend. I can't believe you did this to me. I trusted you," Meredith shook her head in pain and anger. All smiles and sympathy left the room. Callie's eyes hardened as she stared at Meredith.  
"Don't be angry with me" Callie began. "You never told me his name so how was I supposed to know? And you are not together right now anyways. If you are so upset over this then maybe you should go fight for him. Go apologize, go talk, go tell him how you feel. Meredith, I know a heartbroken man when I see one, and Mark is definitely heartbroken. He is just as distraught as you and if you don't go to him then we both know I will not be the only woman he sleeps with. If you want him, go get him. Fight for what you want, and don't let it go so easily."

Meredith stood, staring at Callie as her words began to sink in. Briefly she remember George telling her not to throw it all away last night and as she remembered Derek's lips on hers, Meredith felt terrible. Callie nodded at her and that was all she needed. Meredith shot out of the O.R., tearing off her mask and gown as she went.  
She had to find Mark and make this right.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Well, wasn't that a fun spin on things? Don't worry we aren't slowing down yet. If anything we are just getting even more dramatic and crazy! This chapter draws on a little bit of Season 12 Episodes 9 and 10 (disclaimer, I don't own Grey's Anatomy)** **Review and enjoy :)**

* * *

"Alex, have you seen Sloan?" Meredith was breathless, she ran all the way down from the O.R..

"He was talking to a nurse last time I saw them, they were headed towards the cafeteria," Alex answered, looking up from his chart. Meredith nodded as she set off to the cafeteria, hoping that they wouldn't be taking a detour to an on-call room. Knowing the elevators would be busy so close to lunchtime, Meredith opted to take the stairs. She threw open the door and began to skip down the steps.

If she wasn't focused on searching for someone, Meredith probably would have missed them. However, her searching eyes landed immediately on the people just one flight down from her. She stopped and tried to piece together who the brunette was. She was pinned against the wall, trapped between two strong and capable arms that belonged to the man of the hour: Mark. Meredith carefully cleared her throat, the sound echoing through the stairwell, causing the woman to look up at her. Mark turned next, the false smirk falling away as he took in Meredith.

"Dr. Sloan, I was going to talk with you but it looks as though you are a little busy," Meredith crossed her arms, trying not to show how hurt she was. Callie was right. Meredith could see the pain in Mark's eyes, and knew that his way of coping was sleeping with other women. That was something Meredith once understood. She too had found her escape within one night stands and meaningless flings. It was hard for her to blame him for his actions, no matter how much it hurt her to see that woman in his arms.

"Rosie was just leaving," Mark said, taking a big step back from the nurse.

"Actually it's Rose," the woman said, a small smile on her face. "Talk to you later, Mark," Rose slowly climbed the stairs until she was even with Meredith. She paused slightly to glare at Meredith before making her way back out of the stairwell. Silence filled the area as Meredith and Mark stared at each other, both wanting to say so much but not knowing where to begin.

"I'm sorry," they both said, at the same time. Meredith blushed, as hope filled her again. "Go ahead," she nodded to Mark.

"I am sorry, Meredith. I am sorry for not talking to you, for kissing Addison, for sleeping with someone last night. I am sorry you found me with Rose like this," Mark began to slowly work his way up the steps.

"And I'm sorry, Mark. For getting mad at you without letting you explain. For not listening to you and trying to understand. For kissing Derek last night," Meredith said quietly. She watched as his face changed, his features moving from sorrow to anger.

"You kissed Derek?" He exclaimed.

"It was just kissing," Meredith explained, fearful of what fight this might cause between them. "George intervened before it progressed."

"So you were going to have sex with him? After all he did to you? To me? To us?" Mark fumed.

"I was drunk," Meredith tried to stay calm. She desperately wanted to move on from this. She wanted to be wrapped in his arms, and listening to him whisper into her ear. "I was upset and not thinking straight. And you slept with someone else."

"But she has no relation to any of this," Mark tried to justify.

"But Callie is my friend," Meredith fired back. The realization hit Mark and his shoulders slumped a little. He looked up at her, his eyes sad as he knew that he was getting closer to losing this battle. "Besides, you kissed Addison. You can't be mad at me when you did the same thing. I can't constantly have this fight with people. First I have to defend myself to Derek because he accuses me of sleeping around. Do I have to do the same to you? I thought you of all people would understand. Everytime I come looking for you, I find another woman in your arms. If that's how it is going to be, I can't do it anymore. It's not fair."

The ultimatum hung in air. Meredith did not want the conversation to turn this way but she would not allow the double standard to rule her life. Her heartbreak was evident in her glassy eyes that stared down at Mark. He knew she was right but he didn't know how to tell her.

The tension broke as their pagers went off, calling them to the E.R. and out of the heavily charged moment. "Massive trauma" Meredith whispered, starting to run down the stairs past Mark. He reached out and grabbed her arm, stopping her. She turned her head to look into his captivating eyes and before she knew it they were kissing. It was a light kiss, a sorrowful kiss that he was bestowing upon her. He pulled away first, a small twinkle in his eyes before grabbing her hand and starting towards the E.R.. "This doesn't mean we are fixed," Meredith said as they entered the chaotic emergency room.

"But it does mean we aren't completely broken," Mark smiled before rushing off to an incoming trauma. Meredith grabbed a trauma gown and tied it on as Dr. Bailey and the Chief were wheeling in a man who was bleeding profusely.

"Grey, we need you" Bailey called as they wheeled him into a trauma room. Meredith was quick to follow, adrenaline clearing her brain. Mark no longer was front and center. Instead basic life saving procedures raced through her head.

"What happened?" Meredith asked as she got the patient hooked up to the heart monitor, and checking his pupils for reactiveness.

"Armed robbery is all we know," Bailey replied, checking his abdomen for tenderness.

"Sir, can you tell us your name?" Chief asked the man.

"I don't… I don't know," the man replied, unconvincingly. Meredith found it strange that the fully lucid man was withholding his name.

"We should page neuro and get a head CT," Meredith suggested, taking notes in the chart.

"And an ultrasound for the abdomen, there is some tenderness in the right upper quadrant," Bailey stated. "Sir, this is a pretty bad cut on you arm. Do you remember how you got it?" The man just shook his head, avoiding all eye contact.

"Bailey, you seem to have this covered with Grey. I will see if I am needed elsewhere, page me if you need anything," Chief nodded his head before leaving the trauma room. Meredith sat to start the chart, writing in as much information as she knew.

"I am going to get that ultrasound and page neuro. We should also get plastics in here to look at that cut, it looks pretty deep. Be right back," Bailey said with a smile to the patient before leaving.

"Sir, I am going to ask you some questions that might help us get you proper treatment," Meredith rolled the stool closer to the bed. "Can you remember your name now?" The man still shook his head, his eyes wide. "How about how old are you?" No answer. "Can you give me the names of any family members?" The man still didn't reply. "That's okay. We will get the neurologist in here to get a better look at your head and try to help you remember."

"Where did the other doctors go?" the man asked, his voice low and rough.

"Dr. Webber left to help other patients. And Dr. Bailey went to get some equipment and ask for the other doctors. She will be back soon." Meredith replied not looking up from her chart, where she was noting the initial complaints. "Sir, do you have any other complaints? Are you in any pain?"

"My left arm really hurts. And left hand," the man said, almost frantic. Meredith stood.

"Let me have a look," Meredith smiled, leaning over the right side of the bed slightly to examine his other arm. It wasn't the one initially injured but she could check. "It looks swollen. I will go tell Dr. Bailey to…"

"No!" the man yelled as a sharp pain came to Meredith's abdomen accompanied by the pain moving laterally towards her side. The pressure was removed and it took her breath away as she stumbled backwards, looking down to see dark blood staining her light blue scrub top. She looked up to see a knife in the man's hands, horror crossing his face a he stared at the blood. "No," he whispered before falling unconscious, the knife falling into his lap.

Meredith couldn't breathe as the pain was increasing. Her vision blurred and her eyes grew heavy as her head felt light and faint. Tripping over her dropped chart, Meredith fell back onto the floor unable to catch herself. Her mind was blank as she let her eyes close, going willingly into the dark.

"Bailey, you paged?" Mark asked, approaching her at the nurse's station.

"Yes, a deep laceration to the forearm. Trauma one. Grey's in their with him now" Bailey gestured to the room before turning back to the paperwork. Mark smiled, hoping that this would give him and Meredith another chance to talk. He wanted more than anything to be with her again and it was stupid of him to ever let her go so easily. He pushed open the door to be overwhelmed with the smell of blood. He took in the unconscious patient on the bed, a knife lying precariously in his lap.

"Meredith?" Mark questioned as he stepped further into the room. His heart almost stopped when he saw her collapsed on the floor, a pale face and a red blood stain creeping across her scrub top. "No! Meredith!" he cried, rushing over to her to examine her wound. He pushed the top up to reveal a deep cut running beneath her ribs. "Help" he tried to shout but the words wouldn't get much louder than a whisper. "Help," he cried again, his voice shaking. Once more he yelled out and he heard footsteps running in. Bailey and a few nurses poked their head in the door only to have their jaws drop.  
"Book an O.R." Bailey called, her voice still steady but her eyes fearful. "And page the Chief and the police. Get me a stretcher!" Together, Mark and Bailey lifted Meredith onto a bed, placing gauze over her wound to try and stop the bleeding.

"Meredith, you will not die on this table," Bailey said as she began chest compressions. She had been frantically trying to repair the damage the knife had done to Meredith for the past hour. The knife had punctured the upper part of the small intestine, before moving up towards the diaphragm muscle and then lacerating part of the liver. Moments earlier, Bailey was almost finished when the hepatic vein burst causing blood to fill the surgical field. Now Meredith was on the table, her heart stopped as she was losing blood rapidly. "Hang another bag of blood" Bailey called to the nurses in the O.R..

"Doctor, she is losing too much blood. It might be time…" a dark haired nurse suggested. Bailey continued her compressions, hoping she wouldn't lose one of her promising interns. Meredith Grey was special. She was compassionate, a spitfire, smart and strong. Everything she needed to be successful in this field. There was not a day when Bailey had seen Meredith even think about giving up, even in the midst of her personal troubles with the Shepherds.

Bailey glanced up to the gallery where she scanned the faces. Izzie, Alex, George, Cristina. The Chief sat up there. And Mark. Mark was pacing the room, unable to watch the scene in front of him. Derek wasn't there. But Mark was. Because Mark loved Meredith. And Bailey knew that she had to keep trying. She had to get Meredith back.

Meredith was hard to recognize with all the machines surrounding her. Her small figure was lost in the giant white bed of the ICU. Bailey had indeed brought her back by carefully and blindly suturing the hepatic vein to stop the bleeding. Meredith had been to close to not making it and now she was weak and fragile. Mark stood in the door to her room, unable to decide whether he wanted to cross the threshold. He hated seeing her like this, so vulnerable to the world. His eyes scanned her pale arm where the IV was inserted and then up to her rosy lips that were closed around a tube that was helping her breath. "You should go sit with her," Callie's voice came from behind him.

"I don't know if she would want me too," Mark lamented, turning to face Callie. "She said we weren't fixed yet."

"But she loves you Mark," Callie pleaded. "And you love her. Anybody can see it in the way you look at her, and how upset you have been."

"She loves me? Are you sure?" Mark asked, his eyes big with wonderment. "Why would she love a man whore?"

"Because deep down inside she can see who you truly are. She would never have been so upset after you fought or so hurt when I told her we slept together if she didn't love you" Callie explained, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Go sit with her. Hold her hand." She gave him a gently push towards Meredith.

Mark had been sitting by her bedside for at least an hour. He held her limp hand as he hummed a slow tune, while taking in every detail of her face. A small bruise had formed on the side of her head, no doubt the point of impact when she tripped and hit the floor. "Oh Meredith" he whispered, his voice tight with emotion. Regret coated his insides as he remembered all the women he had been shamelessly flirting with and kissing. Everytime he had touched another woman it had felt all wrong, like puzzle piece that he thought was right but really it was completely wrong. And Meredith was the correct piece.

"Oh God, Meredith!" Derek's voice echoed through the room as the man entered. "Mer…"

"She isn't awake yet," Mark said with an edge. He felt threatened at Derek's presence, knowing full well the night before it was Derek who had been kissing Meredith instead of himself. "Why are you here, Derek?"

"Addison called to tell me she would be home late and mentioned their was an accident with Meredith," Derek explained as he grabbed Meredith's other hand. "What happened?"

"The patient had a knife and stabbed her," Mark stared at Meredith's hand in Derek's. "She was in their alone and when I came in, she was on the floor bleeding."

"Why would you leave her alone? What were you thinking, Mark?" Derek became overprotective in an instant, anger clouding his big blue eyes.

"I was paged in for a consult," Mark stood up to be on the same level. "I had just gotten there. What were you thinking last night when you kissed her?"

"I was thinking about how much I love her and how I never want her to be kissing anyone other than me," Derek glared.

"Maybe you should have thought of that before you chose to stay with Addie. She doesn't love you anymore," Mark's voice raised slightly, his hand still wrapped around Meredith's.

"That's not the signal I got from her last night. If it hadn't been for that pesky O'Malley we might not be in this situation," Derek smirked, knowing full well how hard it was for Mark to hear those things. "She chose me last night over you. And I chose her."

"I should have punched you when I had the chance. I wish I could now," Mark muttered, his frustration only growing.

"What's stopping you? Your precious thousand dollar hand? Or your petty, pretty-boy face?" Derek narrowed his eyes, asking for a challenge. "What's stopping you?"

"I'll tell you what's stopping him," Dr. Bailey's snapped as she entered the room. "The fact that he is in an ICU and Meredith almost died on the table today. You both need to go take a walk, in seperate ways. Go, both of you! Get out of here and let this poor girl rest! The last thing she needs now is to wake up hearing you silly boys arguing!" Reluctantly both men dropped Meredith's hands and left the room but not without a slight shove as they walked out the door. "Grey, I don't know how you put up with either of them" Bailey shook her head as she walked to the bed. She checked Meredith's vitals and they all looked good. Checking her watch, Bailey knew that soon the anesthesia would wear off and she would wake up. Double checking her lung function and oxygen saturation, Bailey decided it would be okay to extubate her and take her off the ventilator. Carefully she removed the tube from Meredith's throat and listen to her breath sounds. Every sounded just fine, which was relief for Bailey. Not wanting her to be alone when she woke up, Bailey pulled up the chair Mark had been sitting on and waited for Meredith to wake up.

Mark sat staring at his coffee in the cafeteria. The fragrant smell momentarily distracted him from the uncertainty of his life. At least coffee would always be around for him. He looked up as Addison approached him. With a sigh, Mark sat up straighter while wishing she would just leave him alone for the day. He knew he had initially come to Seattle with the hopes of winning Addison back and leaving with her for a glamorous life in New York. But now he wanted the simplistic and loving life that Meredith could share with him. That's all he wanted. "Hello, Addison," he said as she sat across from him.

"Have you seen Derek?" Addison asked worriedly.

"Probably hovering outside Meredith's room," Mark stated with contempt.

"My marriage is over, Mark" Addison looked at him, tears forming in her eyes. "He obviously will never love me the way he loves her. You were the only one to ever love me as much as he loves her."

"Addison," Mark whispered. Weeks ago he would have loved to hear that from her. He would have been thrilled that she was admitting to a broken marriage and finally realizing his love. He would have but now he just couldn't. He loved Meredith. "I can't be with you. I…"

"You love her too, don't you?" Addison asked forlornly. "I probably should have told you this a long time ago but I… I, um, was pregnant."

"Was?" Mark felt like his insides dropped as he waited for her explanation.

"It was yours" she said quietly.

"What happened?" Mark asked, his voice tight and body tense, unsure if he really wanted the answer.

"I chose to terminate the pregnancy" a single tear escaped and fell slowly down Addison's cheek. Mark closed his eyes as he attempted to understand. The only question that came to mind was why she never told him. They could have tried to make it work, he would have tried so hard. He wanted to be a better parent than his own, and make sure a child never felt unloved.

"Why didn't you tell me?" his voice was heavy with emotion.

"I didn't know if you loved me. I wanted my marriage with Derek to work," Addison tried to explain. "We could try again and we could..."

"No," Mark said surely. "You made your choice and it was yours to make, but I would have liked to have known even if me knowing wouldn't have changed your decision. I would have like to talk about it then but now it's already happened and we can't go back. I have to be honest, Addie. I loved you once. Hell, I loved you when I got to Seattle but I realized that it would never work between us. I am in love with Meredith Grey and I am going to fight for my love this time. I wish you all the happiness in the world but I don't think you could find it with me." Mark stood and gave her one last look before turning to go back to the ICU.

It was simple in his mind now, everything was clear.

He was in love with Meredith.

And he had to tell her.


	13. Chapter 13

Meredith was awake but she didn't open her eyes yet. Her brain was fuzzy and her body felt as light as feathers. Vaguely she remembered the patient stabbing her but that was all. She had no idea where she was or what happened after that. She decided to open her eyes: slowly she eased them open to reveal the hospital ceiling. She finally recognized the steady hum and beeps of the heart monitor and other machines. "How are you feeling?" Bailey's voice came from one side of her. Meredith turned to look at her mentor. Bailey's head was tilted slightly to the side as she peered down at Meredith with concern in her eyes.

"High as a kite" Meredith muttered, her voice hoarse and low. "What the hell happened?"

"The patient you were treating turned out to be behind the whole armed robbery. We sent him to psych for a full evaluation due to his erratic behavior," Bailey explained. "He stabbed you in your upper right quadrant and it went very deep into your abdomen. But don't worry, I fixed you right up."

"I would hope so," Meredith mumbled, fumbling with her words. "You are the greatest surgeon...except of me. I am the best."

"One day, I believe you will be. But until then, focus on getting yourself better," Bailey gently scolded, laughing a bit at Meredith's bold statement.

"She's awake," a male voice filtered into the room. Meredith lazily moved her head to look at the speaker.

"McDreamy McAss" she exclaimed, realized it was Derek. He rushed in to her side and she was vaguely aware of his hands taking one of hers.

"I take it you are feeling okay?" Derek asked, concern filling his blue eyes.

"No," Meredith murmured. She suddenly felt incomplete and disappointed. The person she wanted wasn't here to be with her.

"Are you in pain?" Bailey asked, taking in the distraught face on Meredith. "We can up the pain meds if you want."

"No," Meredith stated. No amount of drugs would fill the emptiness that was overcoming her. The emptiness she felt could only be replaced by one person and until then her heart would continue beating but unsuccessfully in filling the void she felt at the absence of this person.

"What is it then, Mer?" Derek questioned, worry knitting his eyebrows together.

"They're not here," Meredith closed her eyes. The drugs she was on was making it hard for her to stay in the here and now. Unable to fully feel all of her body, she felt as though she could just float away and she needed someone to ground her, and pull her down to earth if she dared to drift away.

"Cristina? We can go get Yang…" Derek began.

"No," Meredith cut him off. "Mark."

"I'll go page him," Bailey patted her hand reassuringly before throwing Derek a glare and walking out of her room.

"Meredith, I am here for you and I love…"

"I am in love with Mark," Meredith cut him off once again. It was Mark who could hold her and not let her float away. It was Mark that would fill the void she felt in her chest. "I can't love you."

"But last night you seemed like you could" a harder edge now present in Derek's voice.

"I was very, very, very drunk," Meredith said softly. "Mark and I had a fight and I was very upset and swimming in tequila."

"I see," was all Derek said as he let go of her hand. "You should make this choice when you are more conscious." Meredith sighed, closing her eyes.

"Derek, I loved you. Past tense. But now I love Mark. Present tense and future tense," Meredith tried not to slur her words. "I know that now, even with the drugs."Meredith opened one eye to look up at Derek. He stared back at her before his shoulders slouched, defeated. Over. Everything with Derek was finally over.

Leaning over Meredith, Derek gave her one last kiss on the forehead."Goodbye Meredith" he whispered, his lips still burning on her skin. The contact was final but it felt wrong. So wrong. "It was a pleasure to have known you, I wish you all the best." He then left the room, not even looking back. Meredith let out a breath and felt instantly relieved. For the first time in a long time she felt hopeful as she drifted out of reality. 

"Hi Meredith," Mark's voice entered her ears as he entered the room. It was all she needed to come back from her day dream. A dream in which she was happy, sitting in her back yard with a ring on her finger and Mark beside her. A dream which she wanted desperately to make a reality. "I saw Derek leave, is everything okay?"

"It's over" Meredith opened her eyes, the lights in her room suddenly very bright. "He's the McAss, you're the McSteamy. I love McSteamy. I am in love with you."

"And you're not just saying that because of the medications?" Mark laughed, coming to sit next to her. Meredith shook her head, consciousness leaving her again. "Good, because I love you too" he whispered to the now sleeping Meredith. 

Two days later Meredith was out of the ICU and in a recovery room. She had significantly lowered her painkillers and had begun to eat some solid foods. Whenever Mark wasn't in surgery he was sitting with her. He had yet to tell her about Addison and their confession of love hadn't made it's way into conversation yet. Mark was unsure whether or not she remembered saying it. And he definitely did not want to push it.

Mark had just finished his shift for the night and was ready to go spend the night with Meredith. He had arranged for a cot to be brought into her room for the remainder of her stay. "How are you feeling today?" He asked with a smile as he greeted Meredith with a gentle kiss.

"Ready to get out of here. Hospitals are no fun when I can't work," Meredith pouted.

"Bailey wants to keep a close eye on you. You know you coded on the table, right?" Mark was still shocked over that. The idea of losing Meredith was unbearable to him. When she flatlined, he felt the light go out of his life too. He swore that his internal organs fell to the floor below and left him empty and dying. It was the worst few minutes of his life. There were no words to describe the intense wave of relief he felt as Bailey successfully got her heart beating again, all he knew was that one minute he had been pacing, staring down at the O.R. and the next, after he heard the words: "She's back", he was on the floor on his knees. That's how relieved he was.

"Oh she had made it very apparent," Meredith stated with a note of annoyance. "I just want to at least go home. I will be fine at home. I'm a doctor."

"And doctor's always make the worst patients" Mark laughed.

"Am I really that bad?" Meredith questioned.

"The absolute worst," Mark joked as he sat beside her on the bed. "You've been ordering everyone around."

"That's my job!" Meredith exclaimed. "I feel so stuck while I am here. I'm bored. Hospitals are boring!"

"As soon as you get out of here, I will take a week of vacation to spend with you," Mark offered. "We could, you know, talk and maybe do some other stuff."

"Other stuff?" Meredith raised an eyebrow. Mark nodded with a wink. All joy suddenly left Meredith's face, her features becoming guarded slightly. She was putting up a protective wall. "Does that mean you talked with Addison?"

"Yes," Mark said, still battling with what she had told him. There hadn't been a day since when he hadn't thought about the fact that he could be a father. He could be playing catch with his child in the evening after work, or making them breakfast in the morning. He could be teaching them how to ride a bike and how to tie their shoes. But Addison took that away from him before he even had it. Before he even knew.

"And?" Meredith pried. She could tell that something was bothering him about it, he had been a little dark and stormy recently. His blue eyes cloudy and the usual twinkle had been absent.

"She was pregnant," Mark began, his voice low. "With our child."

"Oh Mark," Meredith placed her hand on his shoulder. A bit of panic began, against her will, creeping through her. What if Mark had a child somewhere in this world with Addison? It would add to the complicated nature of their relationship ten fold. "What happened?"

"She chose not to keep it. I can't believe she did that without telling me."

"Mark," Meredith said in a soothing voice, knowing this was a touchy subject. "Think of the situation. She was still married to Derek, who was all the way across the country after finding out about his best friend's affair with his wife. So not only was she dealing with multiple broken friendships and adultery but a baby? I can't even imagine being pregnant with all that going on. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been."

"But my baby! That was my child!" Mark could feel anger rising within him.

"Yes, and it would have been better to tell you but ultimately she made a choice and there is nothing you can do about it. And it's not like you will not have kids in the future."

"Oh?" Mark at Meredith questioningly. "Are you suggesting we will have children?"

"Maybe," Meredith smiled. She was unsure of being a mother still, especially with her poor experiences with moms. But if she were to have a baby, there was no one else in the world she could imagine having one with other than Mark. She loved him and he would make an amazing father. "But first I would want to be married, and not an intern."

"Now you want to get married? How much morphine are you on?" Mark laughed, secretly rejoicing in hearing those words from her. He wanted nothing more than to marry her.

"None, it's all true," Meredith reaching for his hand. "Mark, I am ready to move on from being the lusty intern and dirty mistress. I want to be first a loving girlfriend and then a wonderful fiancé. And then your wife. Are you ready to move on?"

"As long as it is with you," Mark leaned in for a kiss. As he pulled away he smiled against her lips. "We can still be a little bit dirty, right?" Meredith laughed and playfully smacked his chest.

"You're hopeless," she giggled as she kissed him again.


	14. Chapter 14

Derek stood outside her recovery room, watching her talk with Mark. She never had looked so happy, the smile on her face could light up the entire city. He was never able to bring her that. He could faintly hear that they were talking about children and marriage. Both were topics that Meredith never dared to mention around Derek. He tried bringing up having children once and Meredith shut down

 _Months ago:_

" _All this land is yours? What are you going to with it?" Meredith asked as they sat on the porch of the trailer, the sun setting around them._

" _Build a house," Derek moved closer to her, putting his arm around her shoulders. "Have a swing set and a tree house for the kids. They could run all over here." Her shoulders suddenly tensed. Meredith stood up abruptly, a distraught look in her eyes._

" _I have to go," she said lamely. "Early rounds tomorrow, I really need to sleep."_

" _You could sleep here" he suggested. She shook her head fiercely._

" _I just need to go," she practically ran to her car, jumping in and pulling away without even a wave or a goodbye._

 _She was just gone._

Gone.

She was gone from his grasp now. Nothing Derek could do would ever get her back to him. She never looked at him with so much love in her eyes like she looked at Mark. And he had never seen Mark look at any woman that way, even Addison.

Meredith had been right this whole time.

It was time to move on.

It was time to go.

So he left.

Later that night Addison was checking up on a patient in recovery. She paused as she walked past Meredith's room. She looked in to see Mark and Meredith curled up on the bed together, his arms wrapped protectively around her in their sleep. Addie let out a sigh as she remembered Mark holding her that close.

" _This is nice," Addie whispered as Mark pulled her close. He began kissing her neck gently. "Can we stay like this forever?"_

" _We can stay like this all night," Mark hummed. "Though you might want to try some different positions."_

" _No," Addison giggled. "I mean forever forever. Forever just you and me." Addison tensed as he paused his kissing._

" _You know I love being with you Addie, but I don't know about forever" Mark said, scooting away from her just a little bit._

" _You don't see a future with me?" Addison turned to face him, concern filling her face._

" _Of course…"_

" _So you could see a child and…." she was trying to find a way to tell him she was pregnant._

" _No, I never said that," Mark sat up, obviously uncomfortable. "You aren't pregnant, are you?"_

" _No," Addison whispered, suddenly afraid of him knowing, of him leaving her._

And she had always assumed he never wanted children, a wife or a woman to spend the rest of his life with. But the way he had fiercely stood up for Meredith and the way he looked at her, showed Addison that there was nothing left for her with him. There was nothing left in any of her relationships.

Nothing.

WEEKS LATER:

Meredith was sitting on the side of her bed, waiting for Mark to come back upstairs. It had been her first day back at work and she was tired. She was still recovering from her surgery but she couldn't stand sitting at home alone for much longer. Despite Mark's protests for her to take another week to recover, Meredith had called Bailey and asked to come back. Reluctantly Bailey had agreed to let her come back but kept her on a short leash and monitored her work load. "Ready for bed now?" Mark asked, coming into the room. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Meredith said, a little distant.

"Are you sure?" Mark questioned, concern filling his voice as he stood in front of her.

"I was just thinking, I guess," Meredith replied, looking up at him with her big green eyes.

"About what?" Mark sat next to her, hoping this wasn't too serious. "Are you thinking about the attack or the surgery?"

"A little of both," Meredith began, her voice quiet. "Bad things always happen to me. All of my life these storm clouds have followed me around. Did you know my mother tried to kill herself? She did it right in front of me. And my dad abandoned me? He just suddenly left from my life and I can only remember him pouring my cereal in the mornings. My best friend from high school, Sadie, is no longer my best friend. We fought after we got back from Europe and I haven't talked to her since. I miss her.

"My mom was a famous surgeon and now she has Alzheimer's and she swore me to secrecy. The man who I work for had an affair with her when I was little, that's why we went to Boston. And then I show up here, fall in love with a man who turns out to be married. Then I fall in love with another man who I stupidly broke up with and then I get stabbed and almost die. Bad things happen to me."

"Bad things happen to everyone, Mer" Mark reached for her hand, his heart breaking as he heard her list the hardships of her life. He didn't know much of her past and just the fact that she was opening up to him meant she was serious.

"But they really happen to me… And," Meredith's voice broke. It was heavy with emotions as she spoke. "And I don't want the next bad thing to be losing you. I never want to lose you".

"Oh Meredith" Mark let out a breath, pulling her to his chest. He could feel his own heart overflow with emotion. "You won't ever lose me."

"Promise?" Meredith met his gaze with her tear filled eyes.

"I promise," he whispered as he kissed her gently. "I love you Meredith Grey. I will always love you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, even when I least expected you to be in my life."

Finally they crawled into bed, each of them moving to be next to each other. For awhile they just were next to each other, listening to the breathing. "Mark?" Meredith questioned.

"Yes?" he replied.

"I love you" Meredith whispered. In response, Mark turned on his side and pull her into his arms, gently kissing the top of her head.

"I love you too" he whispered before they drifted off to sleep.


	15. Epilogue

EPILOGUE

 **Well, this is it. This is the end. I hope you enjoyed the bumpy ride and rejoice in this final chapter of happiness and some redemption. I have another story in the works so look out for that if you want. Thank you for all your reviews! Enjoy :)**

 **5 Years Later:**

Meredith was freaking out. She had been called in for an emergency surgery very early in the morning and now it was taking much longer than she anticipated. And that was most definitely a problem for her. She had places to be today.

The surgery had taken a complicated turn. Her and Dr. Amelia Shepherd, who came to work here after Derek left, had this surgery scheduled for next week when Meredith had more time. It was a large tumor sitting near the brainstem which made it extra complicated. Within the next week Amelia was going to finalize their surgical plan but this morning the patient was having seizures and had not regained consciousness after them, so Meredith had been paged to do the surgery today. Her and Amelia had successfully located the tumor but now realized that by removing it, there could be damage to the medulla oblongata and cause severe bleeding with possible herniation. They had been standing looking at the brain and looking at the scans for the past hour. And at this rate the surgery would last well into the rest of the day. "Dr. Shepherd," Meredith broke the silence in the O.R.. "Do we have a plan?"

"It's grown since the last scan. It's so close to the medulla," Amelia looked up at her. "We have to get an outside opinion."

"Do you want me to get the other neurosurgeon or…" Meredith suggested.

"Meredith," Amelia said very quietly, her voice shaking with uncertainty. "Please go call my brother. I just need to know what he suggests. I need to bounce ideas off of him. Go and do it discreetly and come back to tell me." Meredith nodded and stepped back from the table. She removed her gloves as she left the O.R. in search of an empty room to make the call. Grabbing the patient's chart, Meredith slipped into an on-call room. Taking a deep breath she dialed Derek's number. Shortly after Meredith's surgery, Derek put in his two-weeks notice and left to go to another hospital. The last Meredith had known was that Derek was at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester doing clinical studies.

"Hello, this is Derek Shepherd," his voice came from the phone.

"Hi Derek, it's Meredith Grey," Meredith summoned all her courage. They had rarely spoken since he left. Just professional hello's at conventions when they happened to run into each other. At first it had been awkward and hard, but that soon left and was replaced with simple, detached professionalism.

"Meredith," Derek replied. Meredith could only imagine the smile that he had on his face that dreamy smile that once turned her insides into mush.

"I need your help. Amelia and I are performing this complicated surgery and it got pushed up to today," Meredith began. She proceeded to tell him all the details from the chart and what the tumor was like. Finally she had finished telling him and there was silence on the phone. "Derek, are you there?"

"Yes, just thinking," Derek started. "What is your approach?" Meredith told him what they were thinking but now they were stuck. "Meredith, everything Amelia thought of was right. I can't think of anything else to do but to try and get all of it. Amelia is brilliant. I believe in her... I believe in you. You always had a knack for neurosurgery, even as an intern."

"Thank you, Derek," Meredith smiled, anxious to get back to the surgery. To get done with the surgery and on to the next event of her day.

"Congratulations, Meredith. I am glad you found your happiness. Goodbye," Derek said into the phone before hanging up.

"Goodbye" Meredith said into the phone as she jumped up to go scrub in. She ran back to the O.R. and as she was scrubbing back in, she saw Amelia hadn't moved. She still stood there looking at the patient. "Dr. Shepherd, I am back" Meredith said as she took her place next to Amelia at the brain.

"What did you find out?" Amelia asked.

"Your approach is the best option," Meredith smiled and then added quietly, "he believes in you. He said you are brilliant." Amelia let out a breath and smiled.  
"Then let's get started, Dr. Grey," Amelia turned back to the brain and began the surgery.

Hours later, Meredith had just finished the surgery. "Meredith Grey, why are you still here?" Dr. Bailey's voice echoed through the hall.

"I had to finish a surgery and then the E.R. needed a neuro consult," Meredith looked up from her chart.

"Meredith, go home and get ready. Tonight is your big night. Trust me you don't want to go in your scrubs" Bailey smiled, taking the chart from her hands. "Now go." Meredith sighed and went to the locker room to change.

Arriving at home, Izzie rushed her upstairs. "You are late," Izzie chided her. "Hurry and get in the shower, we are now pressed for time! I still have to do your hair." Meredith hopped in the shower, rejoicing in the warm water that loosened her tight muscles. She washed her hair carefully with her lavender shampoo before hopping out of the shower. Izzie was quick to get her hair dried and began the curling process as Cristina waltzed into the bathroom eating some chips. "Cristina!" Izzie cried, exasperated. "You're not dressed yet!?"

"There's still time, bridezilla," Cristina leaned against the wall. "Besides, what if Meredith decides to run. I can't drive the getaway car in a long purple dress."

"Cristina, I am not running from my own wedding," Meredith smiled, thankful that she at least had the option to run and a person who would offer to drive. But she wasn't going to run, she never wanted to run away. She simply couldn't wait to get married to Mark.

Even though she wasn't a big white princess dress kind of girl or a big wedding kind of girl, Meredith had agreed to a wedding ceremony in the back yard. When Mark proposed a year ago, Meredith had been ready to go right down to city hall the moment she said yes. But Mark, and Izzie, begged her to have a big ceremony. Meeting them in the middle, Mark and Meredith were being married in the back yard and Meredith had agreed to wear a wedding dress. Izzie and Mark had planned the whole thing and it often resulted in them pouring over wedding magazines while Meredith and Cristina sipped tequila and made fun of them. It was an unlikely but enthusiastic friendship.

Now though, Meredith was getting laced into her white dressed and couldn't be more excited to marry the love of her life. "Meredith, you look beautiful!" Izzie exclaimed stepping back to admire the glowing bride. Wiping the tears from her eyes, Izzie hugged her before pushing her out the door and yelling: "Ok, it's time!"

Izzie led the way down the stairs, telling everyone to go have a seat as Cristina and Callie, dressed in lavender bridesmaid dresses helped Meredith down the stairs. The processional music started as Cristina made her way down the aisle with Alex as a groomsmen. Then Callie, the maid of honor, was escorted by the best man, Jackson. It had been a hard choice on who to choose as the maid of honor but in the end, Callie had won as she had been the one to push Meredith to go back to Mark and talk it out. She helped them get to this point. And frankly, Cristina could care less. She was just here for the alcohol. And maybe to support Meredith..

Everyone stood as Meredith took her place in the doorway. Confidently, she began to walk down the aisle her gaze resting on Mark, who couldn't look more happy, his eyes sparkling and a smile gracing his handsome face. Although Chief Webber had offered to walk her down the aisle, Meredith had settled on walking herself down the aisle. Afterall she had most things in her life alone and she could walk by herself just fine.  
With a smile on her face and tears glistening in her sparkling green eyes, Meredith said "I do." Equally as happy, Mark also said "I do". They were lost in each other's eyes as the justice of the peace pronounced them husband and wife and they wasted no time in kissing to seal the deal.

Finally they were married and together forever.

They had every intention to keep their vows and never wanted to leave each other's sides. That was evident through the reception as they were never apart through the party. They were starting a new chapter in their lives, a chapter that involved no cheating or sleeping around. It was a chapter about them and their persistent love for each other.

Finally they were alone in the house. Everyone had helped clean up and then made their way home and now Mark and Meredith sat on the couch looking through the cards of congratulations. Derek's mom had sent them a heartfelt note wishing them well, as did most of his sisters. They all were supportive and loving of Mark. "Mark," Meredith's voice was full of confusion. "Who do we know that lives in L.A.?"

"I don't know, open it" Mark said, looking over at the envelope. Meredith pulled it out and began to read it aloud:

 _To the newlyweds, Mark and Meredith._

 _Congratulations. I always had a feeling that you two would end up married. Even when I was upset with you both, I could see the love you two had for each other was real and true. I strived to find that within my own life and to do that I have to move somewhere new. After leaving Seattle and divorcing Derek, I moved to L.A.. Here I work at a wonderful clinic and I met my own true love. We aren't married yet but I think that is coming soon. I can finally understand the troubles you went through to be together and how you never let me, Derek or anyone else stand in the way of your love  
Therefore, I am sincerely sorry for all the troubles I caused you. Meredith, I am sorry I hated you so much. You are a talented and strong woman and I wish I would have appreciated that before I left. _

_Best wishes,_

 _Addison_

"Wow" was all Meredith could say. Mark put his arm around her, pulling her close and placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

"Everything worked out just fine, didn't it?" Mark murmured.

"I am kinda surprised actually," Meredith sighed. "I usually never get the happy ending."

"Well you did this time," Mark stood and held out his hand to his new wife. "Now, I am ready for the best part of the wedding."

"Oh?" Meredith took his hand, standing up to face him. "And what is that?"

"The wedding night" Mark smirked, pulling Meredith flush against his body. "Where we get to be dirty mistresses." Meredith giggled as he kissed her passionately. Mark stepped back and put one arm under her legs, sweeping Meredith up into his arms.

"But now," Meredith said pulling away from his lips, "we're dirty spouses." Mark smiled before kissed her again and carried his beautiful bride upstairs to their bedroom.

THE END


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